WHY ARE WE SHOCKED & SURPRISED

Filed under: bardenisms,just because,movies,newsworthy,television,the marriage fight — admin at 1:51 pm on Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Jared and I LOVE movies! And TV shows. I love when people ask me if I watch TV or movies and I show them my WHOLE ARM of movies and television. Yes. I watch them. I love them.

We recently saw The Greatest Showman – maybe about FOUR times in the theater! It was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! AWE-INSPIRING! BEAUTIFUL! And – AND – we took Fitzy to see it the second – third – AND fourth time because it was safe for the kiddos. He also LOVES movies – imagine that! We took Enoch the fourth time – and since we’ve been listening to the soundtrack FOR THE LAST THREE WEEKS – he knew all the songs. He didn’t LOVE it as much as Fitzy but the kid only has about a 10 minute attention span.

And Jared and I got talking on the way home from the movie – the first time – about how awesome it was. A message to NOT cheat on your spouse. A message about WHO you are – being comfortable with WHO you are. The struggles of fame and money and wanting ALL THE THINGS. A celebration of humanity.

We always use a site – kids-in-mind.com – not only to determine if the boys can see a movie – but if WE can watch it. They rate movies in terms of content – sex – violence – language.

Jared and I have never really been fans of movies loaded with ALL the things. But – over the years – going through the things we have – we’ve decided to re-evaluate what we watch.

When your husband gets in a little too deep – has a mental breakdown and confesses ALL the deep dark secrets – all the pornography addictions – you take a look at what you’re putting in your life. Having two little boys in the house – to raise and send out one day – you take a look at what you’re putting in your life.

I haven’t watched Deadpool so I can’t tell you exactly what it’s about or the content – but the site that we use spells ALL THE THINGS out.

Does a woman wear a low-cut dress? Does a man caress a woman’s shoulder? Does someone get punched in the nose? Is there blood? Exactly HOW many F-words are in this movie?

Deadpool – for example – is 105 minutes long and has 84 F-words. That’s almost 1 per minute. And I couldn’t read much past the first description in the sex/nudity – it’s intense.

Deadpool got an 8.8.10 – with 10 being the “worst”.

And in this scoring system – it’s – sex – violence – language.

So here’s my question – WHY ARE WE SURPRISED? WHY ARE WE SHOCKED? Why are wondering where all these accusations are coming from? Why? How? HIM? No way. Can’t be. But it must be. WHY? HOW?

Fifty Shades of Grey – another blockbuster – got a 10.5.5 – only about 7 F-words – BUT the sexual content is disturbing. Appalling. Infuriating. It really should be about a 15 if the scale went that high.

How on earth this movie is a MAINSTREAM movie and not porn – I don’t know. And again – I haven’t seen it. But the descriptions were more than enough – and again – I didn’t make it much past the first bullet point.

These are movies that women are going to see with their husbands. Husbands who have serious pornography addictions and the wives don’t know it. Although – I’m sure in some cases – the women DO know it. And excuse it. When we were dating – Jared told me he had an addiction to pornography – sometimes. And while no one in my life TAUGHT me that it was normal for a guy to look at porn – I figured – well – that’s just what guys do right?

Why? Why are we as a society in general comfortable with putting THIS on our movie screens and YET so uncomfortable with the men in this country acting EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. Because it’s just a movie? It’s just acting? It’s not real? It’s scripted? OR because it’s not consensual. And please don’t think that I’m okay with what these men are doing. I’m not. At all. I’m just really not surprised.

I have a theory – a general rule of thumb when it comes to acting. BUT – I wouldn’t take a role unless I could confidently sit next to my dad while the movie played. While he was on the set. You know how you watch a movie as a kid – and then watch it as an adult WITH your parents and you get a little squeamish? Uncomfortable because you didn’t get those jokes as a kid – but now. Ugh. That. I would want my dad AND/OR my Jesus to sit next to me while that movie played in the theater.

Watching people have sex – which is what happens in Deadpool and Fifty Shades – that’s porn right? Pornography by definition - printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings. From what I checked on those two movies – yep. Falls under that criteria.

Therefore – it’s not surprising or shocking that men ALL OVER OUR COUNTRY are being outed. Sex addicts. Manipulators. Liars.

It’s what we love to watch. But wait – maybe we only love to watch it when it’s controlled? Is it the out-of-control-ness about the people being outed that we don’t like? Is it only okay because it appears to be consensual according to the script? And if it’s NOT consensual – it’s part of the script and needed for the story to be told? What makes it okay in Deadpool and Fifty Shades?

Pornography is a SERIOUS addiction – it changes the patterns in your brain. We are feeding our men and our women and our teenagers and our babies LIES. Sex in the movies – it’s never real. And yet we are wondering – crying out for answers – WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE MEN IN THIS COUNTRY? THIS. ALL OF THIS.

So – THE award show is coming up – THE OSCARS. Like I said – we LOVE movies. And we LOVE going to the movies. But year after year after year – the nominations come out – and we haven’t seen them.

Let’s do Best Picture nominations and then one more film that has been raved about that looks good – from the previews

Call Me By Your Name – 8.1.5 - Set in 1983: A man working as a research assistant with a professor in Northern Italy befriends the professor’s teenage son and their relationship blossoms into sexual romance. So – lots of sexual content. No violence. Moderate language. A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A MAN AND A TEENAGER.

Get Out – 3.8.9 – A young African-American man travels to the home of his white girlfriend’s family and becomes increasingly wary of the behavior of all the people around him. Low on sex. High violence. High language.

Lady Bird – 6.3.6 - The film follows a strong-willed high school senior during the 2002-03 school year, as she struggles with her overbearing mother and other people in her life. Moderate sex. Low violence. Moderate language.

Phantom Thread – 3.3.6 - A famous dress designer in 1950′s London creates dresses for the rich, the famous and the nobility. His ordered life is interrupted when he falls in love with a younger woman with whom he develops an unorthodox relationship. Low sex. Low violence. Moderate language.

The Post – 1.3.5 - Inspired by true events surrounding the story of the publication of the Pentagon Papers by The Washington Post in the 1970′s. Low sex. Low violence. Moderate language.

The Shape of Water – 8.7.6 - A woman working as a cleaner in a 1960′s era laboratory discovers a secret containment area where an amphibious humanoid creature is held captive. She’s drawn to the creature while officials have more sinister plans. High sex. Moderate to high violence. Moderate language. A WOMAN HAS A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH AN AMPHIBIOUS CREATURE.

Darkest Hour – 1.3.3 - Set in May of 1940, the film chronicles the immense challenges Winston Churchill faced as he became Britain’s war-time Prime Minister: The German armies seemed unstoppable in Europe and the entire British army was surrounded and close to total annihilation in Dunkirk. Low sex. Low violence. Low language.

Dunkirk – 0.6.5 - During World War II, allied troops were stranded on the beaches of Dunkirk in the French front awaiting evacuation. German bombers began picking them off and the race to save them began. No sex. Moderate violence. Moderate language.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri – 2.7.10 - Convinced that lawmen have dropped the ball on solving her daughter’s rape and murder, a distraught single mother rents three billboards leading into town with messages that denigrate the sheriff. Low sex. High violence. High language.

And this one – I, Tonya – 6.6.10 - The real-life story of ice-skater and Olympic hopeful Tonya Harding and the incident that brought her infamy and destroyed her dreams. Moderate sex. Moderate violence. High language.

BUT – The Greatest Showman – 3.3.2 - A musical film based on the story of P.T. Barnum and how his imagination and salesmanship inspired the creation of his sensational circus. Low on sex/nudity – it’s a 3 because people kiss. Women wear tight and sometimes revealing costumes (revealing cleavage or shoulders or thighs). There is a song – You know I want you. It’s not a secret I try to hide. I know you want me – which might make you a little uncomfortable with your kids – however – it does open up the conversation as to what that means. They like each other – they want to be together but society doesn’t want them together because of the color of their skin. And that it’s not cool for a man to tell a woman he wants her and she just gives him what he wants – because if a man wants you – then he must have you – or not. It opens up lots of topics to talk about what God intends for our relationships with other people. Low on violence. There are some intense scenes of people fighting – however – it’s not bloody and opens conversation as to WHY people are treating people badly – because they’re different. Low on language – some name calling. Also – in one of the songs – damn is in the lyrics – we substitute MAN! Fitzy didn’t even realize exactly what they were saying – so that helped.

So – I leave you with the question – WHY ARE WE SHOCKED AND SURPRISED?!

JURASSIC PARK

Filed under: bardenisms,just because,movies,newsworthy — admin at 1:54 am on Sunday, April 7, 2013

I was sitting in my sixth grade classroom talking about watching Jurassic Park that night. I was so excited. I had read about it in my Disney Adventures magazine. I couldn’t wait! It’s one of the first movies I really remember watching in the theater. The dinosaurs were beautiful. The music was beautiful. I jumped and shrieked and clung to my dad. I read the book – and fell in love.

It’s been my favorite movie since that day.

One of my fondest memories is walking through the halls of Harlan Rowe Middle School and hearing the beautiful score of Jurassic Park coming from the auditorium. When I hear that music – it takes me right back to that spot. Standing on the beige tiles surrounded by yellow lockers – peeking through the heavy doors. It was beautiful. I bought the soundtrack. I listened to it over and over. It’s still beautiful.

20 years has gone by. I’ve since seen it about 200 times. Seriously. In that 200 times I’ve noticed a ridiculous amount of inconsistencies and mistakes. But it’s never made me love it any less. I love that it’s a BIG movie – I mean – who doesn’t like dinosaurs? I love that it poses the question – just because we can doesn’t mean we should. I get it – it’s about cloning dinosaurs – which we CAN’T really do – but imagine if we could. Should we? Would we have control?

Jared took me to see it last night – in the theater. In 3D.

You know – on the BIG screen! I still jump. I still cover my eyes. I still wonder if they will outrun the dinosaurs. Even though I’ve seen it happen over 200 times. The music is still amazing. I still marvel at the dinosaurs – and after 20 years – those special effects still hold up. I still FREAK out when I see my favorite scene – when the T-Rex steps in the mud and squishes it – the composition of that scene is absolutely beautiful. It’s still fantastic.

And I’m even MORE of a nerd.

I very rarely pose questions for you to answer – seriously anyway – but what’s your FAVORITE movie? Ever. Of all-time.

Why? Is it because it’s an Oscar-winning script? Is it because of an amazing character? Or is it the memory?

 

MOVIES MOVIES MOVIES

Filed under: movies — admin at 12:35 pm on Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I LOVE MOVIES!

My dad used to say that we should buy the Sayre Theater and live in it! I would have LOVED that!

Jared also LOVES movies – and thankfully – we like the same genre.

I am not your average “girlie” movie girl. I love action and science fiction films.

Although I am quite fond of Return to Me and 27 Dresses!

I love the summer movie schedule this year!

MAY

STAR TREK – saw it – LOVED IT!

TERMINATOR SALVATION

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM – a good laugh

UP

JUNE

LAND OF THE LOST

TRANSFORMERS

MY SISTERS KEEPER

JULY

ICE AGE

HARRY POTTER

AUGUST

GI JOE

THE TIME TRAVELERS WIFE

BOLT …

Filed under: family,friends,movies — admin at 9:49 pm on Sunday, January 4, 2009

in 3D!

This weekend FLEW by – thanks to having Thursday off and then working on Friday. Friday night PM brought pizza and we watched movies like it was our JOB. We watched the old school BATMAN movie with Adam West and the POW! BANG! KERSPLOOSH! comments. We laughed and laughed – it was better than watching a recent comedy! Then we continued with the cheesiness theme and watched TREMORS! If you haven’t seen it – you should – it is full of cheesiness!

Then we decided to protect ourselves from a cheesiness induced coma and watch MI III – but I can no longer take Tom Cruise seriously – so more cheesiness.

Saturday we slept in a titch and watched LES MISERABLES in the morning with PM – not the musical edition – which I was a little bummed about – but it was good – I would love to see the musical now! My dad and Matt came over to journey with us and PM to Williamsport to watch BOLT in 3D! I had never seen a 3D movie – it was really cool! The glasses you had to buy were also pretty stylish!

We hit the mall and then a new 50′s style diner in Williamsport – which was really good – but way too quiet for my liking!

We came home and watched Meet the Robinsons with dad and Matt before they ventured back home.

A MOVIE MARATHON WEEKEND!

This morning I had a senior shoot in Wellsboro at the train station – in 18 degree weather – *S* was a CHAMP! The session took exactly an hour but there were no complaints about the cold whatsoever. *S* was my girl from GALETON – which is so cool that I am branched out that far – even if it is only 1 person so far!

I love doing senior sessions in the snow and am so glad that I had 2 this year!

Jared and I taught PowerKidz this morning since the other leaders were out of town – we helped them remember the 23rd Psalm – which they knew most of anyway – I was quite impressed!

Today Jared  and I cleaned up around the house in preparation for SCHRUTE and I read some of my book – CHANGE OF HEART – Jodi Picoult – so far so good!

This weekend is the EXPO at the  ARNOT MALL – so EXCITED and ANXIOUS! I will be going up with my dad on Thursday night to set up my booth and what not then staying with my parents Thursday and Friday night – coming back to Mansfield to stay Saturday night and then heading back up in the AM with my mom-in-law to come home later Sunday night.

MAKE SURE TO STOP IN AND SAY HELLO!

Friday 10 to 9.30

Saturday 10 to 9.30

Sunday 11 to 6

If you are a bride – I am giving away 4 free engagement sessions – so make sure you enter for those!

If you aren’t a bride – STOP IN AND SAY HELLO ANYWAY! I will have some good friends and former BARDEN PHOTOGRAPHY brides at the booth with me!

My booth will be right across from Things Remembered!

My goal for the year of 2009 was to have on average 2 weddings a month – which I figured would be about 24 for the year – right now I have 11 deposits and 1 on the way – making 12 – HALF OF WHAT I NEED! GOD IS SO GOOD!

Hope you all had a great weekend and maybe I’ll see ya at the EXPO!

Star Trek.

Filed under: movies — admin at 6:16 pm on Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The best part about Quantum of Solace – the preview for Star Trek – coming May 2009!

Bond. James Bond.

Filed under: bardenisms,movies — admin at 6:39 pm on Sunday, November 16, 2008

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Without any spoilers – I say don’t waste your time and money on Bond. The last one was a little much – but was okay – I thought the cinematography was awesome and I really remember the distinctly sharp scenes.

This Bond had neither.

Labyrinth.

Filed under: bardenisms,movies — admin at 9:00 pm on Saturday, August 23, 2008

Labyrinth is one of my favorite 80′s movies - * not FAVORITE movie* – but favorite 80′s movie – completely different things. I can’t argue with the fact that it is probably one of the cheesiest movies of all time – but I love it nonetheless.

The movie is about this over-dramatic teenage girl Sarah who has to babysit her baby brother Toby while her father and step-mother go out for the night. She is tired of her little brother and begins quoting her favorite book – The Labyrinth – in doing the Goblin King comes and takes her baby brother away to the Goblin City. She must find her way through the Labyrinth in 13 hours – or Toby becomes a Goblin himself.

Jennifer Connelly plays Sarah and David Bowie plays Jareth – so of course he sings.

The Labyrinth might be a cheesy movie – but the special effects – for 1986 are pretty cool and fun and there are quite a few good messages.

1. Be careful what you wish for – it might come true.

2. (and I have to thank Aunt L for this one) – There are people in your life who want to keep you in the past – who want to make you forget and leave your treasures behind while you focus on the trash that sounds so appealing. When I was a freshman in college in Phillie – I was very homesick- Aunt L wrote me a letter in which she described a charachter in Labyrinth. At one point in the movie Sarah is given a peach that makes her forget what she is doing – saving Toby – and she wakes up in a junkyard where a woman leads her to a room – Sarah’s bedroom – with all her stuffed animals and jewelry and storybooks are waiting for her. This woman is bent over and has PILES of trash on her back – things that she has picked up and thinks she needs and adds to the pile – things that drag her down – things from her past that help her with grudges and selfishness – things that she will never need but cannot let go of. She tells Sarah that she is fine here with all her things – everything she has ever wanted – is right here – in her room. Sarah starts a ballerina jewelry box and begins to remember the masquerade ball with the Goblin King and that Toby is gone and she has to save him – she leaves all that she thought she needed behind to save him. Aunt L wrote to me about that woman with all the trash on her back and how she is so weighed down by the past and the trash that she carries with her. I will have to look for that letter and post what she wrote to me – her exact words flow much better – they always do.

3. All throughout the movie Sarah says – That’s not fair. At one point she says it to Jareth and he replies with – “You say that so often, I wonder what your basis for comparison is?” One of the best movie lines ever. That’s not fair – at PK on Wednesday nights I hear it quite a bit – so much so that we resorted to playing games that I named “Danielle Ball” instead of the correct game – because Danielle makes up the rules as we go. That’s not fair – she kicked it too hard – he bunted – she didn’t raise her hand that time – and yet every time “that’s not fair” is uttered – almost without skipping a beat – that same kid is doing the same “unfair” thing. I love that Sarah whines unfairness and Jareth just looks at her and says – you say that so often – i wonder what your basis for comparison is. So true – what is our basis for comparison. I find as the oldest of 3 children – things were never “fair”. Samm and Derek had different rules than I did – different times called for different measures. I remember when I went to college – my dad had moved into a better paying job – and the first time I came home my brother had a really nice leather jacket and I looked at my mom and said – that’s not fair – she said – we didn’t have that money when you were here – or we would have bought you things like that - I realized then that it wasn’t that they loved him more – but it was a different time – a different situation. When you say things aren’t fair – or when you think things aren’t fair – what is your basis for comparison?

If you haven’t gotten a chance to see this movie – check it out – don’t expect an Oscar worthy film by any means – just a fun 80′s movie.

Arrived …

Filed under: bardenisms,movies — admin at 10:31 pm on Saturday, July 19, 2008

We left at 6 AM sharp this morning after going to bed at 2 AM – thank you drive-in. We got to the beach at 3ish – which is not usual but the traffic was CRAZY – Jared and I still pretend we are “kids” and sleep in the back seat while mom and dad drive – that will ALWAYS be one of the best parts about vacation. It will be a sad day when we actually have to be the parents and let our kids sleep in the back seat of the car.

I am logging on and blogging b/c it’s only 10 PM and we can’t go to bed yet – it’s vacation! I also wanted to write about Batman – The Dark Knight. I am a “guy” movie girl at heart. I have been SO excited about this movie since I heard it was coming out. I usually don’t go into a movie with expectations – but not this one – and I was a little disappointed – not much though. I was a little too long – but otherwise good. I have to see it again too – I am so busy trying not to miss anything the first time I see a movie that I cannot wait to see it again right afterward. We went to the Elmira drive-in with PM, Mateo, dad, Derek, and Jessica. I LOVE THE DRIVE-IN – I wish there was still one in Wellsboro. The night was perfect – warm and slightly breezy. The company – most of my favorite people. I won’t spoil it for those of you who haven’t seen it but I will say that the origianl Batman will ALWAYS be my favorite - for sure.

The second feature was Get Smart – which we were excited to see. About ten minutes into the movie – the screen started to skip a little and then WHOOSH – the actors faces starting melting down and the whole film was melting, melting, melting. They said they would be back up and running soon – but we figured we might as well call it a night since we were already putting ourselves getting home at 2 AM – only to get up 3 1/2 hours later.

So – the agenda for the week is to lay on the beach – nothing more – nothing less. We will more than likely stop at some outlets if there is a rainy day or just hit them on the way home. I plan on getting some ideas for blogs while I lay on the beach – relaxing. I have already taken over 100 pictures but I have no way to DL them while I am here.

Leatherheads.

Filed under: friends,movies — admin at 2:50 pm on Tuesday, April 15, 2008

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Our friend Mara is a fellow “The Office” addict, not to mention a Jim Halpert addict. Two Wednesdays ago I asked her what her plans were for the weekend. She said, “I’m thinking about going to see Leatherheads. I said, “No, wait for us and we will go with you!” She said, “Okay.”

Jared and I went to Athens that weekend to spend time with my parents. Saturday night mom and dad wanted us to go square dancing with them. We kindly declined and all went to see Leatherheads instead. Now, I know that I am the one who asked Mara to wait and see it, but I can’t turn down a good movie. I told Jared that we would just go see it again with her when we got back to Mansfield. But I thought to myself, I am not going to say anything to Mara about going to see the movie.

Monday I had to drop something off at the church, and since Mara is the youth pastor at CNC, I ran into her. The first words out of her mouth were, “Hey, when are we going to go see Leatherheads?” Now, any normal person would have confessed that they had already seen it and they were sorry, but I am not normal. So I said, “When is good for you?” It was decided that Saturday would work for both of us.

I love Jim Halpert, therefore I thought I would love Leatherheads. I did not. I’ve seen a few movies in the theaters twice, i.e. Titanic, a few of the Harry Potter’s, Star Wars maybe, but I was not excited to see Leatherheads again.

We went to Pizza Hut with pleasant dinner conversation and bought our tickets, again, for the movie. There were about eight other people there in the theater so we picked our choice seats and settled in for a repeat of a not so wonderful movie.

Cue Jared to the rescue. He leans over me and says to Mara, “Now that we have already paid for the movie, we can tell you that we have already seen this.” Mara laughed and said, “So did I.” We laughed until we cried. We both felt so bad about seeing it without the other that we thought the best thing to do was say nothing. Thank goodness Jared spoke up, ‘cus neither me nor Mara were about to.

And then we left the theater and settled in to watch 21.

21.jpg

Which neither of us had seen yet.