I had an appointment this morning to change my anti-anxiety medication over to something safer throughout pregnancy – but there isn’t any for my situation. My anxiety is brought on by my jaw pain – so my Amitriptyline was more for pain control and anxiety brought on by the pain.

Please pray for me specifically in that area. I have been on that medication for almost 5 years and it has made my life slightly more bearable. The appliance I wear for my jaw helps a GREAT deal – so I am trusting that will remain the case. The fall and spring are hard for me anyway with the change in temperatures.

Our first OB appointment isn’t until October 22nd – which I am not too excited about! I am not letting myself get overly excited until I see out little miracle on an US – but as it is – God has other plans for my faith. I told the nurse our history and my fears about wanting to make sure the baby is okay – and they still kept me at Oct 22nd. – which puts me at 10 weeks and 6 days – which is normal I suppose!

The last few mornings have been tough – and late nights – and I am STARVING all the time. I actually took a 3 hour nap this week – which is not like me at all! I haven’t been editing nearly as much as I should because my office chair and my hips are in an argument at the moment. My head doesn’t like to stay up on it’s own too much without my medication to dull my jaw pain and craziness. Thankfully I set up Jared’s laptop to edit my photos – which is slower than normal – but it’s getting done!

Jared has been awesome – so great with helping me out and letting me rest and understanding that our house is literally a sty. My clients have been so understanding that my normal turn-around time of less than a week is non-existent too! September and October are my busiest months and God is just teaching me that I need to slow down since I am on fast forward all the time!

Thank you again for all your prayers and thoughts! We love all of you and are blessed to call you friends and family!

It has been roughly one year since I got my device for my jaw.

It has been roughly one year since my life became nearly 100% pain free.

It has been roughly one year since my dreams of becoming a photographer and a mother started to come into sight more clearly.

There were days when I didn’t think that I would be able to hang on any longer – days when I thought that God had forgotten about me.

I knew that God would provide a miracle for me in some way, shape, or form when it came to my jaw pain. I am so thankful for Dr. Robinson and his staff – for God bringing him into my life.

HEALING: When my jaw used to hurt, I’d sit at my desk all day and say – God if You heal me – I will shout it from the rooftops and tell everyone I know about Your love and healing mercies. Now, my jaw is healed – call it a dentist with a test product if you want – I call it divine intervention!

Yet – here I sit – still telling God that my attitude will change when …

when He gives me that full time photography job I want.

Have you ever noticed how we give God those “if/then” statements, telling Him that - IF - He changes something - THEN - we will do this or that – then, we will give Him glory and honor? I can’t very well stand from the rooftop of my house telling everyone how God healed me – or can I – but I can tell you about it here.

God has healed me!

And while I may still have twinges of pain occasionally, and some days are better than others – those lows I used to experience are less and less frequent. Thank You God! I remember saying to Jared that I would tell all my friends about how Jesus healed me and how they need Him in their lives. I haven’t. I’m trying.

LIFE WITH JESUS: I cannot imagine living life without Christ directing me. There have been a few times where I thought – how can I do this – how can I wake up tomorrow and still be in this pain and not know what the next day will bring? Thanks to my relationship with Christ – I was able to turn to Him and let Him hold me and calm me.

ON BEING BLESSED: I have been blessed with a husband who has encouraged me to grow in Christ every minute of every day. I have a family that covers me with prayer. I have a God who loves me more than I will ever know. I want you all to know that God used Dr. Robinson as a part of the plan to heal me. (God is still healing me and I have to understand that He has a plan that is much more perfect than any i might devise). How I came to know Dr. Robinson is a God story in itself.

MY GOD STORY: My jaw pain started in March of 2006 – from what I think was stress at work. By May of 2006 – that particular stress left – and with the change in staff, we had to have a coverage person come in. This coverage guy, Chris, has a wife who had TMJ problems years ago with successful surgery. This past June – two years and a few months since the initial problems started – Chris told me that he really thought I needed to call the guy that worked on his wife. I called him and was told that he no longer did TMJ work, but that Dr. Robinson in Lewisburg was rumored to have a new procedure that worked wonders. Jared pointed out to me the other night that if it hadn’t been for Chris coming to work with our staffing change – I still might be struggling with constant pain. I know that God had a specific time frame and plan worked out with my healing. I didn’t like His timing – but we rarely do.

MY CHRISTIAN WALK: I also wanted to share with you a little bit about being a Christian. I think it’s a word that is thrown around a lot and not taken as seriously as it needs to be. I am a Christian. I am a God-fearing woman. I make mistakes. I mess up. I make wrong decisions. I say things that I shouldn’t. I talk about people. I sometimes think that my choices are the right ones for everyone. I am stubborn. I get upset with my husband over petty things. I have a tendency to nag. Sometimes I think – you’re 27 – act like it. I am trying. I am learning. I am discovering and asking for forgiveness when I mess up.

I think so many people say – why would I want to look into that Christian stuff – they are all hypocrites. We aren’t hypocrites – at least not all of us - we are a people blessed with grace and forgiveness. We try to follow Christ and His teachings – we mess up time and time again … and again … and again …

With all my faults – my childish actions at times – my stubborn mind – my big mouth – God still loves me. God still wants to have me with Him for eternity. God still forgives me. Christ can give you freedom like none other.

I leave you today with the knowledge that Christ is only a prayer away. He healed me. I have waited two years to tell you all about the healing power of Christ and the love of God, and perhaps most important of all – the truth that He has a plan for you!

Last time I posted I was at 14% of my goal – now I am at 22% of my goal – all with the help of you lovely folks. Thanks again to all of those you are trusting God and praying with me. Thanks to all those you have given of their funds and time on my behalf – it means more than you could ever know.

I have had the device a little over two weeks and I think that my pain has significantly improved. My jaw hasn’t hurt too bad over the past two weeks – and while I was in Virginia there were two whole days where I had no pain at all. My teeth are starting to move – that is the hardest part I think – I would say that my jaw is pain-free for the most part – but those teeth – now I know what braces must have felt like. I would say that overall the improvement is about 90% – which is FANTASTIC – I notice that when I get upset or angry – my jaw starts to throb – which is stress and what needs to improve there is how I handle it. I see Dr. Robinson again on Tuesday so I will know more – if this is working – if my mouth moving so much is a good thing – what I can expect from here on out.

I love that you continue to pray with me and support me in this relief effort.

TMJ Relief Effort – Day One and Two

Tuesday afternoon Mom B and I traveled to Lewisburg to have the final fitting for my new jaw device. He hooked me up to the TENS unit for an hour and half – which I hate – and then fitted the device to my mouth in a relaxed state. He made an appt. for Monday the 25th to check up on me and see how it is fitting and feeling. It feels awkward and bulky – but that is to be expected. I can hear a difference in my voice – but Jared can only really hear it when I say the letter S. I think that everyone can see my lower lip sticking out a little – but Jared assures me that it isn’t noticeable. I feel like I have cotton in my mouth and it’s getting pretty dry – but I have to take it out when I want to eat so I think it might cut down on snacking. He said that it should help the first night but I don’t know how much improvement I see. My ears are still ringing like crazy and I still feel full – please keep praying for me. As far as the TMJ Relief Fund – I have 14% of what I need – Thanks again to all of those who gave and are giving of their funds, time, and prayers – I cannot begin to tell you how much they are all appreciated. I pray that THIS is what God has for me. I pray that THIS is the time. I pray that you would pray with me.

Today is a little different than yesterday – I think I slept much harder and it hurts today – quite a bit. I woke up with pain in my back teeth on the L side – which is the most affected side – and it hasn’t really gone away yet – I am praying that it is just allowing my mouth to get used to this device – either way I am glad that I go back on Monday. Yesterday felt really good – other than getting used to it. Today – not so much. Thank you for praying for me and believing with me.

So – I have mentioned it before but I will say it again – I have the BEST family ever. My family, friends, and church family have blessed me with their love and kindness. I have a TMJ Relief Fund – thanks for the name to Jessica (my sister-in-law) – that people have been contributing to. I am amazed and so humbled by what people have given me thus far. I am not only talking about monetary gifts – but prayers and kind words. As an update for all of you who keep up with what is going on in the region of my TMJ life – I had my second appt. yesterday with Dr.  Robinson. He hooked me up to a TENS unit – an electrical stimulation device – to help relax my muscles – for about 70 minutes. He then took molds of my bite to send out to make the device that I will wear all along my bottom teeth. August 19th is the appt. where I will be hooked up to the TENS for about 45 minutes and then have the device fitted and in place! I can hardly wait. I will have trouble speaking for the first few weeks – or so I am told – but I am willing to sacrifice that to feel better. I sometimes get overwhelmed when I think of the life that I will be living in a  few months – God willing. I have the calmest peace about this device – I truly believe that THIS is what God has in store for me – for us. Again – thank you to all of you who have given or are giving of your time and money to help me in this endeavor. I cannot even express to you in words what it means to me to know that I am in your prayers and that you are willing to help me in this purchase. I would love to make a little graph on the side of my blog that shows how much I need and where I am in that goal – but I don’t know how.THANK YOU – THANK YOU – THANK YOU.  

I am trying not to get my hopes up too much – but I really feel that this is an answer to prayer – it HAS to be. I made my first appt. with Dr. Robinson for a week from today – Thursday the 17th at 1.20 – I will have three to four more appointments after that. I am trusting God to provide the funds for this procedure – Jared and I both feel that this is the step we are to take – it makes me feel better to know that I had another option from someone who was much less expensive and I didn’t feel that option was the one – weird – I know. The first appointment consists of taking precise measurements of my jaw and mouth. The seconda appointment – at the end of July – takes two hours and is when I have the TENS unit attached to me to determine my “correct” jaw position. The third appointment – August 19th is another TENS unit session with the device being fitted and positioned correctly. I should be back one week after that to see if it is indeed doing its job.

What I need – PRAYER – please please please pray for me – for us – it is painful to say that this is a dream I have been wanting for a long time – ‘cus what a sad thing to have to be dreaming about – but it is. Please pray that God uses this device as His healing – or just His divine healing – I will go for either one. Pray that the funds will come – which I trust that they will – I don’t usually have a peace about things – and I do about this. Although, I am trying not to get TOO excited – until I know for sure that it will work.

Thank you to those who take the time to come to my website and support my dream – both photography and TMJ – I hope that by this time next year to be a FULL-TIME photographer and momma-to-be – so you could pray about that for me too.

www.myotronics.com - Yesterday I met with Dr. Robinson in Lewisburg – he had some answers. Check out the Myotronics link – he thinks that I do have cartilage left in my jaw – YAY – the NTI splint that I have been using for the past year and a half has done nothing but given me more damage and a worse bite. The splint that he wants to make is one that goes along the bottom teeth that I wear 24/7/365 except eating and cleaning it. He does a few sessions with TENS unit work to relax the jaw and put it into proper alignment. He thinks – cannot guarantee – that this can and will help me. He gave me the numbers of some former patients – with their permission of course – and I spoke with them today – they say it remains to be life changing. The one woman had TMJ pain for 30 years – THIRTY YEARS – and after a week of this device she was pain-free and remains to be. There is one catch – the price tag – it is QUITE STEEP – quite a bit more than the $1000 that I was quoted in KOP – and I just made the decision to make the plunge and buy a new camera – a 40D Canon – which now might be returned to the store with this new option. I have a lot of decisions to make – in a short amount of time. I would love all your prayers – I have been praying over and over and over for a miracle. It has been a rough two years – especially the last few months and weeks and days – where it seems all I do is cry – and I can’t even begin to think that there might be an end in sight. It is overwhelming and exciting. 

I don’t know how many of you read my blog on a normal basis – but I have a request.

Tomorrow – July 7th – I am going to yet another TMJ doctor for some answers – hope – help. I have been nothing but discouraged these past few months – so I come to my readers asking for prayer and a miracle. If you could believe with me that God will heal me – that would be great.

Love – d.

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your Holy presence
Living in me

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very Word
Spoken to me

And I … I’m desparate for You
And I … I’m lost without You This is air I breathe
This is air I breathe
Your Holy presence
Living in me

As I sat with them last night believing for healing – I sit here today still in pain – still believing.

Thanks PK – you guys mean more to me than you know.