barden photography

TMJ Relief Effort - Day One and Two

Tuesday afternoon Mom B and I traveled to Lewisburg to have the final fitting for my new jaw device. He hooked me up to the TENS unit for an hour and half - which I hate - and then fitted the device to my mouth in a relaxed state. He made an appt. for Monday the 25th to check up on me and see how it is fitting and feeling. It feels awkward and bulky - but that is to be expected. I can hear a difference in my voice - but Jared can only really hear it when I say the letter S. I think that everyone can see my lower lip sticking out a little - but Jared assures me that it isn’t noticeable. I feel like I have cotton in my mouth and it’s getting pretty dry - but I have to take it out when I want to eat so I think it might cut down on snacking. He said that it should help the first night but I don’t know how much improvement I see. My ears are still ringing like crazy and I still feel full - please keep praying for me. As far as the TMJ Relief Fund - I have 14% of what I need - Thanks again to all of those who gave and are giving of their funds, time, and prayers - I cannot begin to tell you how much they are all appreciated. I pray that THIS is what God has for me. I pray that THIS is the time. I pray that you would pray with me.

Today is a little different than yesterday - I think I slept much harder and it hurts today - quite a bit. I woke up with pain in my back teeth on the L side - which is the most affected side - and it hasn’t really gone away yet - I am praying that it is just allowing my mouth to get used to this device - either way I am glad that I go back on Monday. Yesterday felt really good - other than getting used to it. Today - not so much. Thank you for praying for me and believing with me.

So - I have mentioned it before but I will say it again - I have the BEST family ever. My family, friends, and church family have blessed me with their love and kindness. I have a TMJ Relief Fund - thanks for the name to Jessica (my sister-in-law) - that people have been contributing to. I am amazed and so humbled by what people have given me thus far. I am not only talking about monetary gifts - but prayers and kind words. As an update for all of you who keep up with what is going on in the region of my TMJ life - I had my second appt. yesterday with Dr.  Robinson. He hooked me up to a TENS unit - an electrical stimulation device - to help relax my muscles - for about 70 minutes. He then took molds of my bite to send out to make the device that I will wear all along my bottom teeth. August 19th is the appt. where I will be hooked up to the TENS for about 45 minutes and then have the device fitted and in place! I can hardly wait. I will have trouble speaking for the first few weeks - or so I am told - but I am willing to sacrifice that to feel better. I sometimes get overwhelmed when I think of the life that I will be living in a  few months - God willing. I have the calmest peace about this device - I truly believe that THIS is what God has in store for me - for us. Again - thank you to all of you who have given or are giving of your time and money to help me in this endeavor. I cannot even express to you in words what it means to me to know that I am in your prayers and that you are willing to help me in this purchase. I would love to make a little graph on the side of my blog that shows how much I need and where I am in that goal - but I don’t know how.THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU.  

I am trying not to get my hopes up too much - but I really feel that this is an answer to prayer - it HAS to be. I made my first appt. with Dr. Robinson for a week from today - Thursday the 17th at 1.20 - I will have three to four more appointments after that. I am trusting God to provide the funds for this procedure - Jared and I both feel that this is the step we are to take - it makes me feel better to know that I had another option from someone who was much less expensive and I didn’t feel that option was the one - weird - I know. The first appointment consists of taking precise measurements of my jaw and mouth. The seconda appointment - at the end of July - takes two hours and is when I have the TENS unit attached to me to determine my “correct” jaw position. The third appointment - August 19th is another TENS unit session with the device being fitted and positioned correctly. I should be back one week after that to see if it is indeed doing its job.

What I need - PRAYER - please please please pray for me - for us - it is painful to say that this is a dream I have been wanting for a long time - ‘cus what a sad thing to have to be dreaming about - but it is. Please pray that God uses this device as His healing - or just His divine healing - I will go for either one. Pray that the funds will come - which I trust that they will - I don’t usually have a peace about things - and I do about this. Although, I am trying not to get TOO excited - until I know for sure that it will work.

Thank you to those who take the time to come to my website and support my dream - both photography and TMJ - I hope that by this time next year to be a FULL-TIME photographer and momma-to-be - so you could pray about that for me too.

www.myotronics.com - Yesterday I met with Dr. Robinson in Lewisburg - he had some answers. Check out the Myotronics link - he thinks that I do have cartilage left in my jaw - YAY - the NTI splint that I have been using for the past year and a half has done nothing but given me more damage and a worse bite. The splint that he wants to make is one that goes along the bottom teeth that I wear 24/7/365 except eating and cleaning it. He does a few sessions with TENS unit work to relax the jaw and put it into proper alignment. He thinks - cannot guarantee - that this can and will help me. He gave me the numbers of some former patients - with their permission of course - and I spoke with them today - they say it remains to be life changing. The one woman had TMJ pain for 30 years - THIRTY YEARS - and after a week of this device she was pain-free and remains to be. There is one catch - the price tag - it is QUITE STEEP - quite a bit more than the $1000 that I was quoted in KOP - and I just made the decision to make the plunge and buy a new camera - a 40D Canon - which now might be returned to the store with this new option. I have a lot of decisions to make - in a short amount of time. I would love all your prayers - I have been praying over and over and over for a miracle. It has been a rough two years - especially the last few months and weeks and days - where it seems all I do is cry - and I can’t even begin to think that there might be an end in sight. It is overwhelming and exciting. 

I don’t know how many of you read my blog on a normal basis - but I have a request.

Tomorrow - July 7th - I am going to yet another TMJ doctor for some answers - hope - help. I have been nothing but discouraged these past few months - so I come to my readers asking for prayer and a miracle. If you could believe with me that God will heal me - that would be great.

Love - d.

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your Holy presence
Living in me

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very Word
Spoken to me

And I … I’m desparate for You
And I … I’m lost without You This is air I breathe
This is air I breathe
Your Holy presence
Living in me

As I sat with them last night believing for healing - I sit here today still in pain - still believing.

Thanks PK - you guys mean more to me than you know.

When I was little I knew I wanted to grow up to be one thing. A mother. I always imagined myself having children much earlier that what it seems it will be. When I sit down and think about having babies, I nearly panic. What happens when you don’t know what to do, what happens when they get hurt, what happens when you are responsible for this tiny life and you make mistakes? I’ve come to the conclusion that if everyone sat down and thought long and hard about having kids, no one would actually do it. It is crazy and yet - I imagine - is the most rewarding experience ever. Lately, I have been thinking about it more and more. When I get to the point that I think I can deal - physically - with being a mother, my jaw reminds me that I can’t. I know that there are people out there that are in more pain and turmoil than me - and they do it.

I’m writing - babbling - today to ask you to pray for me.

For those of you who don’t know what I am talking about - I have TMJ - pretty severe. In the spring of 2006 I had a LOT of stress in my life. I started to experience headaches, sinus pain, numbness, tingling, panic attacks - you name it. I went to my family docs and they put me on sinus medications and steroids - with no results. Finally I had my mom - cus we all need our moms sometimes - come over and take me to the doctor. He told me to open my mouth as wide as I could - 20 pops later he told me that I was more than likley experiencing TMJ. He referred me to the only “specialist” in the region. He took X-rays and told me that my jaw was arthritic and deteriorating - I had no cartlidge left to work with. He gave me a muscle relaxer - which is only a monthly relief- and a night splint to sleep with. I gave up gum, candies, steak - anything that required immense amounts of chewing. The pain subsided and stayed at a level of bearable for a while. I would have good days and bad days. The “specialist” told me there wasn’t really a lot that could be done. I left myself with that answer. Life was miserable at some points. I thank God for putting a STRONG - LOVING - WONDERFUL man into my life that has been through it all with me.

Anyway. I am back to being miserable and in pain almost all the time. I was so excited at the prospect of maybe starting a family soon - but when I can barely manage to make it through the day - I don’t let the thought even seep in.

I know in my heart of hearts that God will heal me. I don’t know how - but I know that He will. I am asking you - my readers, my family, me friends - to pray with me. Pray for me. I want to start a family more than anything I can think of - but I want to be pain-free and be able to manage having children.

Thank you and God bless you.