We have been attending Liberty Bible Church since October – and are loving it!
A few weeks ago – the sermon focused on the giants you face in life.
David faced his own giant in Goliath. Instead of seeing the giant and realizing the impossible – he saw the giant and realized the possible – that he couldn’t miss! David was an optimist – much unlike myself! He faced his giant and he won!
Our pastor asked what our giants were in our own life – addiction – anger – worry – hatred – you get the point.
Right now in my life – my giants are jealousy and anger and fear.
There are times that I still feel jealous and angry when I find out about someone expecting. When that person didn’t have to try very hard – didn’t have to struggle for a beautiful miracle – doesn’t even know what is lying in their own womb – so precious. It’s hard to have those feelings – to admit to those feelings.
I look at other photographers and wonder why I can’t be at their level. I look at everyone around me buying cameras and wonder where my business is headed.
I get so caught up with what I think should happen with my babies – Fitzy and barden photography – that I don’t let God take control. Remember – I am a control freak and giving that up – even to God – is very difficult.
I want to not worry about Fitzy – whether he has moved in a few hours or not – whether he is okay in there – what will happen when he is born and we bring him home and he is actually ours! What happens when I’m not a perfect parent and I mess up – make mistakes – will it affect him greatly. What happens when he is at a friend’s house and has a piece of hard candy and I’m not there to make sure he sits down while he is eating it! (I hate seeing kiddos with hard candy – it makes me a nervous wreck) When he goes to school that first day and I’m not there! His first sleepover – his first time driving – that first time driving without me in the car – when he goes to college – gets married – has babies of his own! Oh my!
I want to not worry about photography – will I get enough to make it by this month – will I get enough weddings for the year – will I lose the clients I love – will facebook really hurt me or help me! I love that God gave me this passion and talent – I love that I get to share it with so many of you. Through this blog and my sessions – my clients have become friends – dear friends! I’ve been struggling lately with some issues that I need to give to God in regards to this baby. Please pray for me!
So – those are my giants – what are yours ?
You don’t have to share them with me – or anyone – just think about it – pray about it – give it to God!