Dear Enoch –

Today is February 4th – two years ago today we found out we were pregnant with you! We were surprised and excited and nervous and scared!

You are 16 months old in heaven – walking and chattering and laughing and playing with your cousin – who is a year older than you and is probably being the mother hen that I used to be!

We miss you every day and often wonder what you look like – if you would be talking – who you would be charming!

As I sit here and type this little letter to you – your younger brother is kicking me – letting me know that he’s in there. God knew that Fitzy would be your little brother – He knew that he would be in our lives at this exact moment. We know that you are in heaven rejoicing with us right now!

I wanted to let you know that you are still in our hearts and always will be. I look forward to meeting your little brother and wondering what traits you share. Do you have the same eyes – the same color hair – the same little smile? Will he be chubbier than you?

People say that pregnancies last forever – or seem to. The 10 weeks we spent with you on this earth seemed so long – the 18 months of wondering and waiting and praying and crying lasted years – or so it seemed! Being pregnant with your baby brother has flown by though!

We are thankful for the night we had two years ago – learning that we would be your parents – remembering the joy we felt!

We are thankful that we ARE your parents – thankful that you are in the arms of Jesus!

Thank you for what you have shown us – thank you for changing our lives – forever!

I have always had a headache – mostly my whole life – as long as I can remember. The really bad migraines started at 5 – throwing up, sensitivity to light and noise, sleeping every moment of my life away. I can remember missing Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas with my grandparents on more than one occasion. My dad would stay home with me while I slept in a dark room with a cold washcloth on my head. Washcloths became a MUST every night when I went to bed. My mom would massage that spot between my thumb and first finger. My brother and sister learned to be quiet while I slept – almost every night after school.

Once school started – every day of my life consisted of getting a headache toward the end of the day – pushing through it – coming home on the bus and praying that I could wait to throw up when I get off the bus – cus it was way too embarrassing on the bus. I would make it home and my mom would put me in pj’s and give me a washcloth and a tub – in case I had to throw up again – and massage my hands till I fell asleep. I would wake up at 6 or 7 and eat toast and maybe dinner on a good night – mom would help me with homework and by then another headache was coming on. I would go to sleep and wake up in the morning to do it all again.

The doctor told my mom to keep me away from chocolate and caffeine – which helped – sometimes. We tried different tests – with nothing. Someone suggested that my mom take me to a chiropractor – we found out that my legs were not the same length – significantly. I wore – and still wear orthotics – and the headaches slowly got better. I still had a headache every day – but not a migraine. I asked my sister and brother recently if they have or had headaches. Samantha hardly ever had them growing up – but does now. Derek says he always had and still has a headache – but not migraines. My mom gets headaches and my dad gets migraines. I always told my mom that if I knew that my children had headaches like I did – I wouldn’t have them. I don’t know how my mom dealt with watching me go through that and taking care of me for so long – without losing her mind!

My pain tolerance grew with each headache I had. I thought it would be the worst pain I ever went through – then my TMJ pain started. There were times when I am sure that without Jared keeping me sane – I would have killed myself without knowing what I was doing. I was delirious and in complete and utter pain – worse than I have ever felt in my life. I was working at the PT clinic at that point and started to have more of an understanding toward the patients that came in those doors absolutely miserable. I started to realize that I needed to adjust to my jaw pain like my headaches – realize that it might always be there but could be less in severity – like my headaches.

I know that God can heal me – from my headaches and my TMJ pain – I know that. I also know that in the meantime I need to adjust to living with pain.

While I understand people living with chronic pain a little more – the one thing it does do is turns down my sympathy button for complaining people. When and if I voice that I don’t feel well – it means I DO NOT FEEL WELL – like cannot move my head without it exploding. When Jared complains of something – I don’t say anything – when he complains for the 3rd time I ask him what he needs me to do – take him to the hospital or what? When I am in constant pain of some form – it’s hard for me to understand why others don’t just suck it up and deal. It’s something that I am working on and asking Jesus for guidance.

I know that I am sympathetic – when the situation calls for it – even though some I know would disagree!

As the birth of Fitzy approaches – I think about the pain – and how it can’t be THAT bad seeing as how I have lived with pain most of my life. I think about being sympathetic with my child over his pain – and praying that my heart grows in size when he is born!

I had an email from a friend the other day telling me that she overheard some women in a local bridal shop talking about barden photography. The women said that my work was beautiful but just way too expensive for this region. My friend said she spoke up and said – next year you have your memories and your photography left from your wedding. Danielle is the best there is – and totally worth every cent.

This meant so much to me. 1. She spoke up. 2. I DO NOT think that I am the best there is – I would love to approach greatness but never want to get to the point where I sit back and look at my work and say – well – I’ve learned everything there is to learn and can’t get any better. So to hear her say that – means so much! 3. It has taken me quite a while to get here – since 2004 – and I have worked hard to get here. To hear that I am worth every cent – is humbling!

When I have a session with you – it’s not an appointment in a studio. I take the time to get to know what YOU want from the session. You get what I see in your family – the interactions between everyone. I make sure to get all the combinations of your family – any shots that you specifically requested – let your kids be kids and just run around and capture them in their own environment. I adore newborn sessions – I come to your house and we work in your environment. If your baby needs to be fed or changed or cuddled – take that time. We don’t rush through any session – especially a newborn. I don’t just go home and put your pictures on a CD and then send them out to you. I go through and pick out my quick favorites – editing them and putting them on FACEBOOK (or not if you prefer) for you to see as a sneak peek – usually within 2 days of our session. I then go through and look through each photo and edit them. I usually spend about 3 hours total on each portrait session. I then upload them to a photo sharing website and email you the link – and send every image to you – with the rights to reproduce them – on a CD.

Engagement sessions and senior sessions are slightly more – they usually take longer to shoot and longer to edit. If you are a volunteer fire fighter and want a session engineered to that style – we can do that. If you want your car incorporated into your senior session – we can do that. You all know how much I love my dog – so if you are a fellow dog lover and you just have to include your pet – let’s do it. I have to warn you that they might steal the show though! You get the same quality and attention to detail as any portrait session – with your images on a CD to reproduce.

Weddings – oh weddings! I chose this job knowing that weddings happen on Saturdays – normally. In 2010 I had 30 weddings – out of 52 Saturdays – that’s a lot – but I love it! I’m passionate about weddings whenever they occur! For me – communication is the key. We talk before the wedding – you share details – the shot list – the expectations – your feel for your family. At your wedding (I usually arrive 20 minutes early), I go over the layout and chat with the other vendors that are there already. Many times I meet you at a parent’s house or wherever you are getting ready – then travel to the church and then the reception. Wedding schedules are often similar for photographers, but your wedding is perfectly unique – to YOU! I make sure to capture details – those moments that are meaningful to you – the details you have spent hours creating. Whether you purchase a 6 hour – 8 hour – full day package – or something in between – I pour everything into your wedding – and I love every minute!!

I approach your wedding this way – think of me as a guest with a camera. Yes – I will be there for your every moment and need – but I don’t want you to notice me. I will not be in the way – I will not make the day about me – I will not stand in the center of your wedding aisle in front of your parents. I want you to look at your wedding photos and experience such an overwhelming feeling of emotion at the moments captured.

Again – I don’t just come home and put your images on a CD and send them out. I go through each image and edit it – usually spending about 20 hours on each wedding – editing. Custom creating each image to fit YOU! You get all the images on a CD – quality images – and they are yours to keep forever.

You won’t find another photographer that does what I do. We are all UNIQUE – or should be. I love capturing your moments and even more – I love hearing your response to your images.

I can promise that when you book barden photography for ANY session – you will get unique photography that shows who YOU are!

. BE YOURSELF . ALWAYS .

Patience: good-natured tolerance of delay or incompetence.

I don’t have much of it. I never have. Like any kid, when I was in high school, I couldn’t wait to grow up and be an adult. When the last month of my senior year rolled around – I needed time to stop – it was moving way too fast! In college – I couldn’t wait to meet my husband. After Jared proposed to me – I realized that time was moving too fast – again!

When the time came around that people started asking me more and more to take pictures for them – I couldn’t wait to start my business. To quit my “real” job and be a “real” photographer. I never thought the time would come for me to be able to quit my job and photograph beautiful people all day!

That was almost 7 years ago. In March it will be 2 years that barden photography has been my job!

It took tons of patience – and still does! I am not nearly where I want to be with my photography – I compare myself to other photographers ALL THE TIME. I am constantly pushing myself to be better and learn new things. There are a lot of new photographers popping up or moving into the area and it’s important to find your niche and stand out.

Getting pregnant started out with no waiting at all – we got pregnant within the first month of trying! Waiting for that first appointment and then waiting to see our baby on the screen. Waiting for a miscarriage or to go in and have a procedure and then waiting to start trying again. And then waiting and waiting and waiting for it to happen. Waiting for test results to come back on why we were waiting so long. Waiting for it to happen on its own or make the decision for medical intervention. Then making the decision to wait to start trying again in December – because of my barden photography baby.

Waiting for a test result that I didn’t think would be positive AT ALL! Waiting – again – to see our baby on a screen – holding our breath and praying and waiting some more. Waiting to tell people about our surprise miracle. Waiting to figure out what to do about the summer and the weddings I already had scheduled.

WAITING – God has been teaching me patience my whole life it seems.

Now we wait – again. Wait until I have a big baby belly – baby showers – our sweet baby in our arms. Wait to take pictures of the first newborn that I don’t have to give back at the end of the session! Wait to spend three months cuddled up with our miracle and soaking in every moment that life has to offer!

I made the decision to cut down on my schedule and enjoy the preciousness of life – it was hard. I have been waiting so long to get my business going and established – a loyal client base that can depend on me for their memories. Now I have it – and I have to cut back.

So God is teaching me patience and trust. Patience throughout our wait to see our miracle – trust that everything will go according to His plan. Trust that I will be a good momma and a better wife. Patience in the long nights and fussy days.

Trust in His plan for barden photography – that my clients will wait for me – because I love you all too much to lose you!

Look at the goodness of God –

2003 – 1 wedding.

2004 – 1 session.

2005 – 2 weddings. 1 session.

2006 – 6 weddings. 3 sessions.

2007 – 6 weddings. 23 sessions.

2008 – 10 weddings. 38 sessions.

2009 – 24 weddings. 142 sessions.

2010 – 30 weddings. 206 sessions.

GOD IS SO GOOD!

I trust that I will someday become the photographer I want to be – but then again – I never want to to step back and look at my work and say – that’s it – I’m done. I’m the best I can be and the best there is – I never want to stop improving and growing and learning. I trust that I will not intimidated by the other people popping up with cameras – but driven to succeed and be a better artist!

We spent Thanksgiving with our good friends Dave & Christy – in FLORIDA!

Look at those sweet potatoes! SO GOOD!

Christy did such a GREAT job with dinner!

The boys – hard at work!

Christy made potpourri on the stove – smelled so good!

Thank you so much for a GREAT week with you guys!

The Birth of Jesus – Luke 2:1-20

¹ In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. ² (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) ³ And everyone went to their own town to register.

⁴ So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. ⁵ He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. ⁶ While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, ⁷ and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

⁸ And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. ⁹ An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰ But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. ¹¹ Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. ¹² This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

¹³ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

¹⁵ When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

¹⁶ So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. ¹⁷ When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, ¹⁸ and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. ¹⁹ But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. ²⁰ The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Can you imagine being those shepherds? Just sitting there watching your sheep at night – making sure nothing attacks – making sure they are all there – and then – AN ANGEL APPEARS! The angel tells them that a Savior is born – the Messiah – the Lord! More angels come and sing and exalt God! Then the shepherds look at each other and say – let’s go check this out!

I love this account telling of the shepherds – I just cannot put myself in their shoes! They find Mary and Joseph and Jesus – did they ask to hold Him – did they kiss His tender little head – did they give Him back to Mary when he started crying? Did those shepherds tell their own grandchildren that they once held the Savior of the world as a baby – that THEY were the messengers of God to spread the good news?

Today – as Fitzy jumps around in my tummy – I am humbled that God would let me borrow him for a while – that God trusts us with His precious creation. I am wondering what exactly Mary was thinking – was she concerned with the fact that He was indeed the Savior of the world or more so that He would sleep through the night?

Thank You God for giving Your Son – Jesus. Thank you Mary for being a wonderful momma to our Lord. Thank you Joseph for loving your Son and His mother. Thank you shepherds for being in that field that night!

There are two Christmas songs that I LOVE right now!

Check them out!

“oh, mary, joseph, rest your eyes
try not to think of the ending
world full of empty, He will die
but tonight He is still just a child

the silent night drifts all away
and the angels are dancing around you
there’s the joy of knowing He’ll save the world
overshadowing the pain that He’ll go through

have you cursed at the wind
have you cried to the heavens
have you fought with this mercy you don’t understand
when the wise men kneel down
to kiss the hand of this king they found
in bethlehem town

will you hold back the years a while
will you dream that this man could always be a child
and never carry all the weight
of the dirt and the distance and the company we keep

have you cursed at the wind
have you cried to the heavens
have you fought with this mercy you don’t understand
when the wise men kneel down
to kiss the hand of this king they found
in bethlehem town

and did the stars shine much brighter that night
you gave birth to the death that would bring us to life
and did the mystery keep you awake
was the sound of His little heart too much to take

oh, i don’t understand
when the wise men kneel down
to kiss the hand of this king they found

have you cursed at the wind
have you cried to the heavens
have you fought with this mercy you don’t understand
when the wise men kneel down
to kiss the hand of this king they found
in bethlehem town

in bethlehem town
in bethlehem town”

jars of clay

“Did it feel like a night any different
Then at least a million before
Was there any rare expectation
Like there was some kind of somethin’ in store
Did the sky have to hold back the thunder
Did the moon find new reasons to glow
Could the children somehow sense the wonder
2000 Decembers Ago

Were the sheep as amazed as the shepherds
At the new star that lite up the sky
Did the willow trees whisper excitement
To the rivers and streams passing by
Did the joy ricochet off the mountains
‘Til it filled up the valleys below
Did all the world sense love abounding
2000 Decembers Ago

Was anyone able to look at the stable
And not see a child but a King
I wish I could hear back over the years
As heaven & nature sing, heaven and nature sing.

Did the walls of the barn start to tremble
With a glory they could not contain
Did anyone wake with the feeling
Of peace that they could not explain
Oh the love must have been overwhelming
As it warmed everyone in its flow
For all of the earth is still telling
Of 2000 Decembers ago

Was anyone able to look at the stable
And not see a child but a king
I wish I could hear back over the years
As heaven and nature sing, heaven and nature sing
Oh the love must have been overwhelming
2000 Decembers Ago”

joy williams

I just love the perspective of those songs!

May you have a blessed and beautiful Christmas this year! Surround yourselves with the love of Jesus!

I love autumn! I love the colors, the smells, the brisk air – everything about it!

Since today is the first day of winter – I thought this would be a great day to post this entry!

BEAUTIFUL!

This past weekend we went to my parents for the Trout family Christmas! My sister and I went out to shoot some scenes for my parents new kitchen!

Goodbye fall – hello winter!

I had to get some shots of *baby* J too!

He is ADORABLE!

*J*’s life will be changing soon too – with a new baby brother or sister on the way in June! Babies galore in my family this year!!

Yesterday marked 20 weeks pregnant!

I am measuring right on target with my belly at 20 cm! I still get a little sick in the mornings if I don’t eat RIGHT away! I am exhausted still and had a bad cold/sinus thing for the last two weeks that I am now just getting over – thank You Jesus! My migraines have decreased and I think I am feeling pretty good – other than the cold!

We are still in shock over this baby boy! We’ve gotten so many great little gifts already for Fitz! Thank you everyone!

Here are the comparative photos at 15 and 20 weeks!

Look at those chubby cheeks – I am blaming it on the fact that I don’t feel good!

I do love having this baby “bump”! My mom had me on May 26th and we were talking about how she didn’t even start showing till February – and she was MUCH thinner than I was when she got pregnant! Strange how it’s different for everyone!

The problem with my uterus has fixed itself – so that is good news!

Thank you again to everyone who reads my blog, supports my photography, and rejoices with us over this miracle!

Today was our ultrasound appointment – to find out if we are having a baby boy or a baby girl!

Sunday will be 20 weeks – ALREADY! It’s going so slow but at the same time so fast!

I have been on team girl – but not the whole time. Jared is on team boy! I thought at first it was a boy – maybe – then my brother and his wife found out they were having a girl and I thought – hmmmm – maybe we are too! I’ve been shopping for little Rowyn (Derek and Jessica’s miracle) and have just been in girl mode – all the little cute outfits and accessories – I am just in love!

Today we determined a winner!

We are so excited to introduce you to …

Our son – Fitzgerald Derek Douglas Barden – Fitzgerald means son of a spear warrior and we wanted to honor Jared’s friends Dan & Dave Fitzgerald along with the whole Fitzgerald family – Derek means famous ruler and is also my brother’s name – Douglas means flowing from the dark river and is Jared’s middle name (along with his dad’s middle name)! We will be calling him Fitz!

Barden means barley valley – just looked that one up!

The pictures above are at 12 weeks and today – 19 weeks!! Everything looks great – 4 chambered heart – all organs and limbs and brain are right on target!

He is unmistakably a boy – since he was waving his parts at us!

The next 20 weeks are going to be so quick! Although I am sure there will be times that I wish it would fly by faster!

We are having 5 baby showers – so exciting!

On March 19th – a Saturday – we will be hosting an open invitation baby shower for friends/facebook friends/clients/blog readers at Liberty Bible Church!

On March 27th – my dear friend Johna will be hosting one!

On April 2nd – a Saturday – my sister will be hosting another open invitation baby shower for friends/facebook friends/clients/blog readers in the Athens area at Mount Pisgah Wesleyan Church!

On April 3rd my mom is hosting one for our little boy and my brother’s little girl!

On April 16th – Jared’s mom is hosting one!

I have had so many people say they want to come to a shower – and by no means am I having the open invitation showers for gifts – YOU ALL have been reading and sharing with me on journey – and I want you there to share in the JOY that is our baby!

I am so excited to be a momma to Fitz and love on all my boys!