We painted the boat. We went to the movies. We went back to camp to get READY FOR THE RACES!!

Enoch and his little friend raced together in their blue race-car!

THE MACY FITZGERALD!!

Macy & Fitzy were the ONLY kiddos in their age group to have TWO in the boat!

Those kiddos – they paddled their hearts out. They knew they wouldn’t be first – but they didn’t cheat the course. They did it exactly how they should have.

THEY FINISHED! TOGETHER! With burning thighs and smiles and laughs – they FINISHED! AND – NO WATER IN THE MACY FITZGERALD!

I COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE PROUD!!

IT RAINED. It rained all morning and cleared up JUST IN TIME to race – and then the rain rain rain came down down down!

Kids with shoes on the wrong feet – I LOVE IT!

LOOK AT THE DRIPPY JUICE! WATERMELON MIGHT BE THE BEST THING ABOUT SUMMER!

This girl – she’s a DEAR ONE!!

THANK YOU Matt & Johna for a FANTASTIC WEEKEND! We can’t WAIT to spend some time at the camp ground this fall!!

My friend Johna LOVES camping! Their campground holds a cardboard boat regatta and they invited us to come along!

Fitzy LOVES Macy – they get along so well! They decided to race together in a boat!

Which means that Matt made the boat!

Fitzy LOVED hanging out with Macy and her friends and going around the campground – like a big giant kid!

They decided to name their boat The Macy Fitzgerald – which sounds like a VERY fancy boat name!

Fitzy had said that naming a boat the Titanic would NOT be the best idea!

We called it a night – but you’ll see the BOAT RACE in a few days!

They want to start a restaurant when they are older – called BARDEN BROTHERS!!

SEVEN! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!

Have I mentioned I love these CRAZY BOYS!

Also – I LOVE my new lens!

Five years ago today the world fell out beneath my feet. Beneath OUR feet.

My husband was not himself. He was cocky. Arrogant. Spontaneous. Those are just some of the nicer words I can use to describe what was happening.

Turns out – he was going through a manic breakdown. Through that breakdown – as most of you know – some secrets came to light. Issues in his life and our life together – came to a head.

I was pregnant with Enoch and God had told us that AMAZING things would happen during this pregnancy.

This was NOT amazing – but does amazing mean good and warm and fuzzy or can it also mean terrible BUT great. Things can be terrible & great. Amazing & terrifying.

And I was “alone” with a two-year old boy that missed his daddy and a baby kicking inside my womb.

I say “alone” because our family was beautiful and supportive and our friends were beautiful and supportive. But I was alone in this marriage.

I was crying. Wondering. Praying. Trusting God. Some more crying. Not really hoping – trusting.

AND HERE WE ARE – FIVE YEARS LATER!

TOGETHER. Because we were all together on that fateful day.

We usually celebrate in style. But my FIL is still on the mend from his stem-cell transplant AND yesterday the rain rain rain came down down down. We found some sunshine in the afternoon and took a chilly dip in our favorite pool. The rest of the day was spent playing games – watching cheesy Christmas Hallmark movies & a little bit of Planet Earth II – spending a much better day together than this day five years ago!

Jared – I love you. I love what our marriage has become and look forward to it getting even better as the years continue. I love that you are so transparent with what happened to you and our lives. I love that you love Jesus and your parents and my parents and our families and our friends. I love how you love our boys and I love how you love me. You love me so well.

I’m sure you’ve read about my friend Trudy. We met when I went to college in Philadelphia. She was my RA and took me under her wing. I was so very homesick and she was so very supportive.

I transferred after one semester but we stayed close – thank GOODNESS for email and IM – in those days!

Trudy lives in Virginia about 7 hours away. When I got married – she was there. When she got married – I was there. But that time – I was IN the wedding AND photographing it. So – my friend and fellow photog Megan Hampton came along with me. Fitzy was 6 months old and Megan was pregnant with her first!

Jared and I met Trudy and her husband in Lancaster three years ago – but – she has TWO sweet boys now and I haven’t met them.

Megan and Trudy have stayed in touch over FACEBOOK and we messaged one day that we should meet halfway – in Gettysburg – at a place called Land of Little Horses!

Monday morning we piled our 5 kiddos in Megan’s van and started our 3 hour tour!

This guy – he has always reminded me of Fitzy – and seeing him in person – made it all the more true!

He is such a sweet pumpkin!

I mean – LOOK AT HIM!!

And this little pumpkin – she is SUCH A DOLL!

It was an UNBELIEVABLY hot and humid day. But when you make plans in advance THREE HOURS AWAY – you keep them!

THOSE BOYS TOGETHER!! OH MY HEART!!

That guy lounging on the bleachers – he is cut from the same cloth as my Enoch guy.

It’s absolutely wonderful having a friend like Megan who I love and respect who happens to have a son just like mine.

I can text her – tell her my frustrations about the stubbornness and the dedication of that sweet boy and she very much understands.

BROTHERS!! 13 months apart!

Typically the horse rides are outside – but thankfully they decided to hold them IN the arena!

We saw a horse that could ADD and stomp out the answer with his hoof!

This guy – he wanted to take this little horse home in our car! ALL THE LITTLE HORSES actually!

THOSE CHEEKS!!

Trudy and her boys left mid-afternoon – because as you mommas know – wrangling a one-year old and a two-year old in nearly 100 degree weather is EXHAUSTING and the kiddos get EXHAUSTED.

We hung out for a little bit to pet some horses!

He is very seriously trying to figure out how to smuggle those 2 horses home.

This guy loves his animals too!

This guy does NOT do well in the heat – but we made sure to stay hydrated and take lots of shade breaks!

ONE LAST PICTURE before we make the drive home!

And one stop at RED ROBIN to fill our bellies! YUM!

Megan – thank you for being adventurous and awesome! I LOVE YOU!

Trudy – thank YOU for making that trip with two kiddos – LITTLE KIDDOS! YOU ARE AWESOME!! I LOVE YOU!

WHAT DOES YOUR FRIENDSHIP LOOK LIKE!?

I got a new lens! I didn’t have any sessions immediately after I got it – SO – I took a few of my Enoch guy!

He’s such a sweet and spirited boy. Right now – his new favorite thing to say to me is – can I help you my queen? Can I help you my beauty?

But he also loves to say – don’t even talk to me right now mom – you are being naughty. So – it evens out!

Since I started a job in March – I needed somewhere for Enoch to go while I worked – and NCA is SUPER AMAZING for so many reasons!

They were totally on board with Enoch coming only one day a week until the end of the school year!

While Enoch wasn’t graduating preschool this year – they still wanted him to be part of the program!

Fitzy was able to come down with his class to watch his brother in his special program!

He was SO VERY PROUD of himself!

LOOK AT THAT SMILE!!

Those brothers – they sure do love each other!

Thank you Mrs. Wilson and Brenda for POURING your love and energy into these kiddos! THEY LOVE YOU!!!

As you may or may not know – I took a very part-time job in March!

I LOVE being a secretary and I LOVE being a photographer and I LOVE being able to stay home with my boys while they grow up!

Matt Neal is our contractor and the husband of one of my best friends – and he needed a secretary for his contracting business!

They are building a house right up the road from us and I’ve been taking weekly progress pictures (added bonus to my new job) and the boys LOVE coming with me!

BECAUSE OF THE DIRT!! SO MUCH DIRT!!

AND THAT VIEW! SUCH A GORGEOUS VIEW!!

Typically we have a BIG party with all the people but this year he asked me if a few friends from school could come over for a NERF gun fight!

OH – and mom – can we invite people over from 1 to 4 so that we don’t have to do lunch or dinner? Just cake?

OH SWEET BOY! ALL THE YES!!

Did you know that I wanted to put EAT BEFORE YOU COME on my wedding invitations!? SO – this whole “we don’t have to feed people” was speaking my language!!

And THANK YOU ERICA for the AMAZING cake!!

WHERE DID THE LAST SEVEN YEARS GO?!

Fitzy – you are kind and sensitive. You are sympathetic and caring. You are SO silly and SO helpful.

I tell you this often – but I’ll say it again and again – you are more than my momma heart could have ever dreamt!

They had a GREAT time!

Over the weekend – Dave Fitzgerald was visiting!

And I don’t think I’ve gotten a REAL picture with my REAL camera of Fitzy and his namesake!

I had to make sure to get at least ONE! Of course – Enoch wanted in on the photo too!

People have said to me – I can’t believe you let your husband name your child after his friend.

Why did you name your kids what you did?

When I was in middle school – I knew what I would name my kids – Christopher and Sierra and Bailey  – I know I had another boy name – but I can’t remember it right now – certainly NOT Fitzgerald and Enoch.

When we were pregnant the first time we talked about Clark for a boy since that is Jared’s mom’s maiden name. I LOVE Clark for a girl too!

But then we miscarried that baby and decided to name him Enoch – because –

When Jared had lived 162 years, he became the father of Enoch. After he became the father of Enoch, Jared lived 800 years and had other sons and daughters. 20 Altogether, Jared lived a total of 962 years, and then he died. When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father of Methuselah. After he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked faithfully with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Enoch lived a total of 365 years. Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away. – Genesis 5

We named the baby we lost Enoch – because God took him away – he was no more.

And then we waited and tried and cried and gave up hope – and really 18 months isn’t all that long at all – except when you’re waiting and hoping for a baby.

So when we got pregnant with Fitzy – we waited to talk about names and dreams and hopes.

We flew to Florida to visit Dave and his wife Christy for Thanksgiving that year – and I felt Fitzy move for the first time sitting on their couch. We got talking about names and I said – if it’s a boy we were thinking Fitzgerald – and Dave said something like – okay. right.

When we found out he was indeed a boy – I thought for sure we would have a girl – we decided that YES – let’s name him Fitzgerald Derek Douglas – and call him Fitzy.

If we had a girl – we would have named her Fitzie Samantha.

And I can’t IMAGINE him being named anything other than Fitzy!

Six months before we got pregnant with Enoch – Dave told us that God had given him a Word for us. That we would have a baby to complete our family. He would be a boy. We would name him Enoch.

Call me crazy. Call Dave crazy. HOWEVER – I believe that God speaks to people – and right when we were about to give up – we got pregnant – with a boy – and while Enoch was not the name I would have picked – God told us to. And how many times in life do we ask God for direction. A sign. SOMETHING. This was one of those times.

I love their names (now) and what they mean and the stories behind them! I love that God impressed it upon us to name him Fitzy and then used Dave to share His promise for our family in the birth AND naming of Enoch.

So – I ask you again – why did you name your kids what you did?!