Five years ago today the world fell out beneath my feet. Beneath OUR feet.

My husband was not himself. He was cocky. Arrogant. Spontaneous. Those are just some of the nicer words I can use to describe what was happening.

Turns out – he was going through a manic breakdown. Through that breakdown – as most of you know – some secrets came to light. Issues in his life and our life together – came to a head.

I was pregnant with Enoch and God had told us that AMAZING things would happen during this pregnancy.

This was NOT amazing – but does amazing mean good and warm and fuzzy or can it also mean terrible BUT great. Things can be terrible & great. Amazing & terrifying.

And I was “alone” with a two-year old boy that missed his daddy and a baby kicking inside my womb.

I say “alone” because our family was beautiful and supportive and our friends were beautiful and supportive. But I was alone in this marriage.

I was crying. Wondering. Praying. Trusting God. Some more crying. Not really hoping – trusting.

AND HERE WE ARE – FIVE YEARS LATER!

TOGETHER. Because we were all together on that fateful day.

We usually celebrate in style. But my FIL is still on the mend from his stem-cell transplant AND yesterday the rain rain rain came down down down. We found some sunshine in the afternoon and took a chilly dip in our favorite pool. The rest of the day was spent playing games – watching cheesy Christmas Hallmark movies & a little bit of Planet Earth II – spending a much better day together than this day five years ago!

Jared – I love you. I love what our marriage has become and look forward to it getting even better as the years continue. I love that you are so transparent with what happened to you and our lives. I love that you love Jesus and your parents and my parents and our families and our friends. I love how you love our boys and I love how you love me. You love me so well.