Happy Christmas 2011!

We spent last weekend at my parents house with my sister and her hubbie! Samm and Xavier got us a little video camera – perfect for Fitzy films! My parents got Fitzy a few shirts and pajamas – sticker books for down the road – a little golden book that he LOVES to read with my mom – stackable rings and a little plane – a purple dinosaur that teaches letters and colors and music!

He loved playing with the paper and banging on his books!

Yesterday we had Christmas with Jared’s parents – and took our gifts for Fitzy over too!

SO CUTE!

Grandma and Grandpa got him a winter jacket – a ball – a playmat – warm pajamas! And of course an ornament!

Great Grandma and Grandpa Clark left him some 4T clothes and hand puppets!

Jared and I got him the little laptop (that teaches Spanish and English) – a little toy cell phone – stackable cups – a monkey rattle – a stuffed Scentsy monkey – a spring-a-ling – a little book about learning parts of the body!

We also got him a little learning center that turns into a push cart for when he starts walking!

LOOK AT THOSE CUTE MONKEYS!

My parents give us money every year. Jared’s parents gave me a little ornament for the year – geeky sticky notes – a Star Trek case for my iPhone – trivia playing cards – and money to add to my “rainy day” fund! Jared got a book about Steve Jobs – trivia playing cards – and a blu ray player.

I am so happy to spend the day cuddling with my boys and enjoying mine and Jared’s Christmas present – our not so tiny little baby!

Christmas in my family is always a hard holiday – like it is for most people. My grandpa Trout passed away on Christmas day in 1990. I was 9 and don’t remember much about him but the mood on Christmas is just a little sadder. When my grandpa passed away – we didn’t know if he had accepted Jesus or not – making it even that much harder.

As Fitzy grows we want to focus on Jesus and His love at Christmas – not the presents and the hub bub that we get wrapped up in. Now don’t get me wrong – we will get him presents but HOPEFULLY not go crazy! We want him to give some of the toys he doesn’t play with anymore to kids who don’t have any! We want him to get excited about Operation Christmas Child and bake Jesus a birthday cake – to think of some gifts to give to Jesus on his own.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOURS! Thank You God for sending Your Son Jesus to the world – to Mary and Joseph in the form of a tiny sweet baby – a baby who needed to be changed and fed and rocked and kissed by his momma and dadda! A baby who grew up to be the best gift ever!

I leave you with my favorite Christmas song – by Relient K!

And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You’ve touched my life
Because here is where You’re finding me, in the exact same place as New Year’s eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We’re less than half as close as I want to be

And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I’ll compare the things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That You have come to meet me here

To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me
In the hope that what You did
That you were born so I might live
To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me

And I, I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life

If you haven’t accepted God’s beautiful gift of His Son – today is the PERFECT day!

Sometimes I’m a jerk. Sometimes I talk about people and get mad about things that never really happened – I just like to think they did. Sometimes I get jealous – really really jealous. Sometimes I state my opinion when in fact it would have been better in the long (and short) run if I had kept it to myself. Sometimes I’m selfish.

I want to be the hands & feet of Jesus – to go where He sends me. But I don’t want to be a jerk doing it.

Since starting barden photography – I’ve had the opportunity to mentor a few aspiring photographers – and it always seemed to burn me in the end. I’ve lost clients because bringing on an assistant didn’t work. I’ve lost clients to the people that were starting a business. I’ve been very VERY upset about this. I’ve felt cheated and hurt and in some ways betrayed. It’s been about MY feelings. I forget that I once was an aspiring photographer whose friends supported me. I started out at lower prices and clients came to me instead of “better – more established” photographers. I didn’t think of any of this then – because I wasn’t getting hurt. I’ve apologized and asked for forgiveness. I’m sure I’ve missed people. So – if I’ve been short when you asked for advice, if I’ve written a status on facebook that hurt you (which is a WHOLE other blog in itself) – if I haven’t encouraged you and supported you – I apologize.

When I decided to become a “photographer” and start my own business – I didn’t even think about having babies in the picture. Photography was my identity. Everything depended on the amount of clients and what clients stayed “loyal” to me. I’m having a VERY hard time with facebook lately. There are LOTS of photographers popping up all over – and I see my beautiful clients in their photos – and I think “why aren’t they in mine?” It shouldn’t matter – it doesn’t matter – in the long run. Why? Because it’s not why I’m here. It’s been an added bonus – but it’s not why I live and breathe. I live and breathe to share the love of Jesus. To be His hands and feet. To be a daughter – a sister – a niece – a friend – a wife – a mother. It’s awesome that God has given me this gift and vision to capture people. I’m thankful for that – and for all of you that I’ve met.

I’m not booking as quickly as I used to – and sometimes I freak out about that. I know that I am not the best – I know that I’m not the cheapest – I know that I am not that friend you are supporting with their new business. It still hurts. It still sucks. BUT – I am a momma now. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE spending time with this little boy. He is growing faster than I could have ever imagined and I feel like I am missing out – even though I am home with him. I have friends I’ve been praying for that are having babies. I have 20+ more friends that I am praying for to be blessed with babies. And I know that God is nudging me to focus on being a momma and a wife and a child of God – and a sister and a niece and a daughter and a friend.

And His hands and feet.

Today is Fitzy’s 7 month birthday!

Starting last night at 6 and ending at midnight tonight – I am running a special!

EMAIL me at dcbarden@gmail.com to schedule your session or SESSIONS for 2012 and get $50 off per session!

I will need your deposit of $100 in my mailbox by Saturday – December 10th!

In your EMAIL give me some dates that you would like to schedule – we MUST book the session today with a concrete date. Emails that are received tonight till midnight will be locked in as long as the deposit is received by December 10th!

In 2012 I will be taking sessions on Tuesdays and Wednesdays – you can check out my schedule to see what is open!

This special WILL NOT apply to mini-sessions if I decide to hold them or currently scheduled/booked appointments.

HAPPY SHOPPING!

And because a post from a photographer isn’t a post without a photo – check out my sweetness – happy 7 months my love!

My friends had their little guy in December of last year and we had to get their baldness together!

HOW CUTE ARE THEY?!

I am ALMOST caught up to real time updates of our little guy! In the meantime – here are some shots from week 21!

Jared’s mom gave me this outfit – from Jared’s childhood! He wore it when he was 9 months old for a picture – I could barely squeeze Fitzy’s five month chubbers into it!

SO CUTE!

He LOVES his jumper! We don’t have any doorways that we can use it in – so it travels to the grandparents with us!

OH MY HEART! I JUST ADORE HIM!

Fitzy LOVES his great grandma Clark!

WHAT A SWEET SWEET BOY!

He is just the sweetest most wonderful baby I have ever met!

Aunt Samm came to visit in early October (at 22 weeks) and we took some pictures of the two of them together! She loves him so much!

He has such horrible allergies with the changes of the season – his poor little red eyes! He sneezes and sniffles but is such a trooper!

We are SO blessed with such a fantastic baby!

I am almost caught up to Fitzy’s actual age on my blog! YAY! Thursday he will be 25 weeks!! ALMOST HALF A YEAR! AHHHH!

Here are some photos of him at 20 weeks!

Hungry much?

Dearest Fitzgerald – I just love you!

Today you are 2. I’m still convinced that you have your daddy’s green eyes since your little brother has mine. Today you would have woken us up with kisses and hugs. I would have given you a sugary cereal for breakfast – cus it’s a special occasion! I would take pictures of you and celebrate the day you came into this world.

Instead – I am celebrating that you are in heaven. You are spending time with Jesus – you are praising and worshiping. You are loved. You have never known pain or anger. You have never cried. You have never wanted.

We miss you so much. I wonder what your little hand would have felt like in mine. I wonder what your favorite cartoon would be. I wonder what your evening prayers would have sounded like. I imagine you working in the garden with Grandpa Barden – going to football games with your dadda – feeding the cows with Grandma Trout. Marveling at all your new discoveries.

Sometimes I feel guilty because I don’t think about you all day – every day – anymore. I know that if we had held you in our arms that we would be missing out on Fitzy. I know that you are where you were meant to be. Losing you was one of the most defining moments of my life. Our lives. We have met SO many people because of you. We have been able to pray with SO many people – because of you. I’ve prayed harder because of you. I’ve learned SO much because of you.

Enoch – we LOVE you! we miss you. we celebrate your life today. You spent a tiny 10 weeks in my belly – but you’ve had such a lasting impression.

Today I hope you have too much sugar. Run and play until exhaustion and pass out in the arms of Jesus. Keep your candle blowing wishes for one of the families we’ve been praying for.

We went out for Jared’s birthday at the beginning of September and I just HAD to dress Fitzy in his little suspender outfit!

OH MY HEART!

LOOK AT THAT FACE!!

I just cannot get over his CUTENESS!

The one on the far right is my FAVORITE! I will be getting a BIG print of that one!

He is rolling over and trying to sit up all by himself. He loves his peas! Bananas and apples are favorites too! He is smiling all the time and is such a good baby!

We are SO IN LOVE with this ADORABLE little guy!

Grandpa Barden LOVES him too!

Grandma Barden is pretty fond of him too!

Thank you Janey Joy – find her on FACEBOOK – for the BEAUTIFUL hats!

Oh baby baby! Fitzy is getting SO big! Here are some of his 15 week photos!

LOOK AT THAT SWEET FACE!

I just absolutely ADORE this little guy!

First time eating cereal – and he LOVED it!

He LOVES his bath!

We are SO blessed to have this little happy baby in our lives!