JUST

Filed under: baby barden — admin at 1:10 pm on Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It’s been 3 months today since we miscarried.

And all I can seem to think is we would have been 22 weeks right now – halfway thru – we would have heard a heartbeat by now – we would know what we are having – we would have seen our little baby on film.

I still feel lost. I still feel confused. I still feel hurt. I still feel angry. I still feel alone. It’s hard to find joy. It’s hard to be happy. I sometimes feel like I am JUST living and not feeling.

I know it’s hard to be our friends right now. I know it’s hard to find the right words to say. I know it’s hard not to say – JUST try again. I hate that word – JUST. I don’t know how many times I heard – but you’re JUST Danielle – you’re JUST a secretary – JUST try again for the baby that you won’t get to hold in this lifetime.

So – I wanted to give an update. We are still here – still breathing – still trying – still praying – sometimes JUST enough.

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