I took Taylor’s senior pictures two years ago – I think! I’m losing track of time!

I love photographing Taylor – she is SO BEAUTIFUL!

And now this SWEET baby on the way! SO EXCITED!

Tom is my good friend Mary’s “little” brother – with dimples to die for!

GORGEOUS!

LOVE LOVE LOVE THOSE SHOTS!

And those ones! I’m totally a farm girl at heart!

SERIOUSLY! This baby will be SO beautiful!

We stopped at a windmill on our way out of the GORGEOUS woods for our last shot!

Tom & Taylor – I cannot WAIT to meet your little guy!

This morning we had an ultrasound.

I thought I was about 8 weeks along – turns out – not so much. The tech figured about 6 weeks and 4 days.

Either way – we got to see a teeny baby!

I saw a little heartbeat on the screen and my heart skipped a beat! That baby is TEENY TINY and it has a heartbeat already! God is SO good!

When it does come time to reveal whether baby is a boy or a girl – the name will be kept a secret this time – considering all the grief we got with Fitzy!

I have been so cautious and preparing myself for the worst – it’s nice to breathe a little easier!

Keep those prayers coming for a healthy baby and healthy pregnancy – I appreciate you all SO MUCH!

In light of our family growing – another change has to be made.

I HAVE to cut back on photography. HAVE TO.

That being said – I will not be taking clients during the months of March – April – May – June of 2013. UNLESS we already have your wedding scheduled OR you are a baby package client that needs photos during one of those months – in which case I hope to connect with you today!

I will ONLY be taking portrait sessions from current clients – any new clients that contact me I will refer to some AMAZING local photographers that I know! With the exceptions of seniors and new babies – but those will be VERY limited! It’s really hard for me to say no – but I’m gonna have to start. I can do 1 wedding a month and no more than 5 sessions a month.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my job – but like I’ve said before – I love my family more and with another sweet baby – I need to prioritize my life!

THANK YOU AGAIN for all your support and prayers and love!

I met Melissa at her twin sister’s wedding in 2010! I loved working with her family and have been looking forward to this wedding all year!

She was married in Rochester so my dad and Jared and Fitzy spent the day with my cousins and then joined me at the hotel later that night!

Nick waiting for his bride! I love being able to get that shot!

My fab assistant – Adam Murtland – got the shots of the guys while I focused on the girls!

SISTERS!

I LOVE THAT SHOT!

Melissa & Nick – thank you SO much for asking me to capture your day! Adam – thank you for coming along and assisting!

I met Brandy quite a while ago at Athens Wesleyan small group – I think! She married a guy I’ve gone to school with since I was in 3rd grade – I think! My memory is SO bad anymore!

Either way – I did her nephew’s newborn shots a few months ago and it was time for a BIG family session!

I couldn’t believe that *B* is 5 months old already – I feel like I JUST did his newborn shots!

OH MY WORD! I did *M*’s newborn and year shots – and cannot believe that she will be THREE!

Isn’t she SO SWEET!

Her little sister *M* – so sweet!

GRANDBABIES!!

It was GREAT to see you all! I hope you LOVE your pictures!

I’ve been looking forward to Becky and Josh’s wedding all year! When I walked in and saw her dress – I got even more excited!

ISN’T SHE GORGEOUS!

Just as we got done with these photos – the rain started – lightly. Then it came down. Hard. The ceremony was outside – so we waited it out – but the rain kept coming. Becky held it together so well!

Waiting for the rain – it didn’t stop.We moved to the reception location for the ceremony – where it rained off and on most of the afternoon. But like I said – Becky held it together SO well!

We watched the skies closely and took any down time at the reception as a chance to get the pictures we needed!

Becky & Josh – thank you SO much for asking me to capture your wedding! If rain on your wedding day is good luck – you guys will have lots!

Fitzy is AMAZING! He is so smart and joyful! He isn’t walking by himself yet – and I tend to compare to everyone else and wonder why he is so far behind – but crawling gets him there faster!

He knows where is nose and his ears and belly button are – and LOVES looking for YOUR belly button too!

He says ball and dada and mama and book and baba and a few more! He loves to shake his head no and wave his arms when he means yes! He LOVES to be in the water and looks forward to his morning bath in the sink!

He LOVES to look through all his books before we get out of bed in the morning!

He has two more teeth coming in on top!

I LOVE THAT FACE!

LOOK AT THOSE TEETH! My mom has a picture of me like this – we look SO much alike!

The past month has been so busy – crazy with weddings and photography and conferences and plans and just life in general!

I’ve been having migraines (which I was pretty much over) about every week or so the last month and I told Jared – after the 4th one in 3 weeks – that I must be pregnant.

When I was pregnant the first time in 2009 – I didn’t have any symptoms. When I was pregnant with Fitzy – I had migraines and morning sickness and was SO tired. When I was pregnant this January – I didn’t have any symptoms – which is how I knew that we would be miscarrying.

Well – I took a test and had an appointment this morning – and the results are in!

We are pregnant!

I’m excited and scared. Mostly scared. This is our 4th pregnancy with 2 out of 3 ending in miscarriage. If we have another miscarriage – we are done. It’s too hurtful and emotionally taxing. I’ve been a little crampy and then remembered that I was with Fitzy in the early early weeks.

This baby would be due March 19th. Our first miscarriage was March 17th. So – I’m praying that this baby is intended for our arms and will complete our little family!

We are sharing so early because we covet your prayers! Pray that this little baby is healthy and comfy in my belly. Pray that we could be excited and not spend our days in worry.

And pray that those women and men out there crying out for babies of their own have their miracles!

13 months – well now 14 since I’m so behind! Fitzy has been with us for more than a year – it’s unbelievable!

Here are some pictures throughout the month of May!

He is the happiest baby!

He loves getting into the kitchen cupboards!

He loves his momma – and I love him!

That picture on the left is the last one I took before my stupid 40D bit the dust.

HELLO HANDSOME!

I LOVE THOSE SHOTS! His hair looks so red in the sun!

He loves his dada too!

Fitzgerald – you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen! We love you!

Fitzy’s birthday fell on a Saturday this year – so we had a party!

I am not a huge birthday or party person. I HATE my birthday – since 1997 – it’s been awful – something always happens and it’s not good. Most of the time it’s several somethings happening.

ANYWAY – it was his first birthday and while he won’t remember it – there were lots of people that love him that wanted to remember it! My in-laws hosted for us and we had such a good time!

Before his party I took him outside for a few birthday shots!

Of course he fell asleep RIGHT before his party started!

Samm and I made the GIANT cupcake!

*J* was SO excited about his cupcake!

I think *J* liked hers too!

We let all the other kiddos “help” Fitzy open his gifts! They LOVED it!!

I LOVE THAT FAT LITTLE FINGER!!

*A* had such a good time playing with all the little presents too!

I LOVE THAT BOY!

We put him right in the tub – which he loves!

THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone that celebrated with us! We love you all and love you so much for loving our little guy!

Aunt L – thank YOU for letting me enjoy the day and taking most of these pictures! I love YOU!

Hannah contacted me around Christmas about a gift certificate for her dear friend Miranda – for a bridal session – which are MY FAVORITE sessions to shoot!

AMAZING! Isn’t she gorgeous!

BEAUTIFUL!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE those shots!

I also LOVE LOVE LOVE birdcage veils!!!

MY FAVORITE SHOTS OF THE DAY! I love love LOVE those shots! I will totally be getting prints for the next bridal expo!!

Hannah – thank you SO much for gifting Miranda with this session! I had such a great time with you both!

Miranda – I can’t wait to see your wedding photos! I’m so excited that I can FINALLY post these!!

⁷ The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Before they diagnosed me with TMJ disorder – I thought I was dying. I thought for sure I had a brain tumor that was pushing my eye out of the socket. A tumor that was pushing on my brain and making it feel like mice were running up and down my nerves. A tumor that was making my arm and face numb – making me delirious from pain. I was sure of it.

I prayed like I never prayed before. I cried. I yelled. I got down on my knees. I screamed. I begged. I cried. I slept. I prayed.

One night I opened by Bible – begging God to give me a verse – to speak to me. Psalm 46 is what I turned to. Verse 5 is what jumped out to me. God is within HER. SHE will not fall. God will help HER at break of day. How many times in the Bible is the word he used instead of she – LOTS! And this verse said SHE. That God would help HER at break of day. Nights were usually the worst for me. After being up all day and carrying around this pressured ball on my shoulders. I came home from working all day and cried and slept. And did it all again the next day. And the next day. I printed this verse out and put it under my keyboard at work – on the wall – in my calendar – EVERYWHERE! Jared helped me memorize it – going over it with me every night.

I said it over and over and over and over again. Cried it. Prayed it. Screamed it. GOD WILL HELP HER AT BREAK OF DAY. That one sentence was my lifeline. I held onto that hope that tomorrow I would wake up. That I would want to wake up – because I can honestly tell you that I wanted to die. I wished I would die. It hurt so bad – all the time. But I would repeat Psalm 46 and hold onto hope.

I started having symptoms in March of 2006 and didn’t get my retainer until August of 2008 – so two years of constant SEVERE pain. Two years of praying this prayer over and over and over again. After I started wearing my retainer – the pain decreased. It’s still there – almost all the time – but NOTHING compared to what it was. On a scale of 1 to 10 my pain used to be a 15. It’s now about a 3 to 4 all the time. GIANT IMPROVEMENT. It’s something I’m used to at this point. When a storm comes through I’m usually pain free. Otherwise – it’s there.

Knowing that my pain was manageable – we decided to try and get pregnant. I’m sure most of you know about that long road and struggle and blessing in the end. Psalm 46 spoke to me then too. GOD IS WITHIN HER – SHE WILL NOT FALL. I felt helpless. I felt alone. I felt forgotten. But I would repeat Psalm 46 – over and over again. And again. And then again. I felt like I was a mountain falling into the sea. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of babies and pregnancies and blessings – that weren’t ours.

Our sweet miracle is now 14 months old – so we are at the point where people are asking (telling really) – YOU NEED TO HAVE ANOTHER – WHEN ARE YOU GONNA HAVE ANOTHER – YOU NEED TO GET STARTED ON THAT. And (sadly) I’m at the point where I say – well – since we’ve had two miscarriages now – I don’t know. I know for some people they can literally just think about getting pregnant and just like that – it happens that month. I don’t know what that’s like. I do know what it’s like to try and try and try for months on end (eighteen for Fitzy) and crash every month you get your period – fall into a heap and scream and pray and cry. That’s what I know. I know what’s it like to lose – not one but two babies and wonder if it will ever happen again. If we were to get pregnant again – would we stay pregnant? If we miscarry again – that’s it. We’re done. I’ve been pregnant 3 times – only once past 10 weeks. Knowing that the next time I get pregnant might be our last scares me. So I repeat Psalm 46 again – for yet another season in my life.

I write this to encourage you. To tell you that you are not alone. To let you know that God LOVES you.

You might need Psalm 46 in your life right now. Know it. Breathe it.