I met Lisa and her family while we were attending church in Liberty and then took her oldest son’s senior pictures last summer!

She had me back for some family pictures – on a HOT day!

I LOVE THOSE SHOTS!

Thank you SO much for asking me to capture your family!

I’ve known Ashley quite a while on FACEBOOK!

When she found out she was expecting she asked me to do the first year package for their son!

Turns out he waited till the 4th to make his appearance!

OH MY HEART!

HELLO HANDSOME!

Ashley & Phil – thank you SO much for asking me to capture these moments for you!

See you in 6 months – they will FLY by!

I met Marine through my friend KT – they were friends in college!

We reconnected on FACEBOOK and prayed together in trying to hold our own miracles. Marine was BARELY pregnant when I had Fitzy and I was so excited we could share in this journey!

They were headed back home after vacation and stopped by my house to see Fitzy – and get some photos!

IS HE NOT ADORABLE!?

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that black & white photo on top! SUCH LOVE!

Little *E* – you are such a sweet boy! I am SO thankful that I finally got to hold you!

Marine & Adam – thanks for stopping by – so thankful we can experience these boys together!

I took photos of *L* and *L* earlier this year – and FELL IN LOVE!

Sheri wanted some more photos of her cute kiddos around Wellsboro!

It started to rain on our way downtown – but we made it work!

These next few photos are my FAVORITE – EVER!

We ended our session at the library – such a PERFECT spot!

OH MY HEART!

Sheri & JC – thank you SO much for asking me to capture your kiddos – I can’t wait till this fall!

I met Julie and her sweet family two years ago – time is flying too fast!

They are adding another sweet baby and asked me to capture the first year of little Alexander’s life!

HOW SWEET IS SHE!?

I LOVE LOVE LOVE those last shots!

Julie – I cannot WAIT to meet little Alexander!

Dearest Fitzgerald –

You are such a happy baby – from the moment you wake up until you ask to go to sleep! You still don’t sleep well – but I’m kind of – sort of – maybe – holding onto hope that you might? You walk now. You talk. You say dada – mom – book – ball – hot – yuck – bock bock – moo – vroom – and tell us all sorts of stories that we can’t comprehend! You have 6 teeth and curly blonde hair. You LOVE to be in the water and on the farm! You give momma kisses and hug me ever so tight. Lately I’ve just been crying in the middle of the day when I look at you. You are a beautiful miracle and you bless (and challenge) my life every day! I love you!

We visited G and G Trout for a week in July – and you would have stayed with the chickens all day if we let you!

On your 15 month birthday (yes – your momma is kinda crazy) I took you out around the house for some pictures!

You were bock-bocking like a chicken here!

You’ve grown to love your little hats! Which I LOVE!

OH MY HEART!

Fitzy – you are such a joy and we love you SO much! You were born for such a time as THIS! I can’t wait to see the great things that God will do through you!

I have so much running through my mind. So many things I want to say and get out. This may be scattered – but I need to write.

Our doctor called today – on a Saturday – to talk to us about our ultrasound. He asked if I was bleeding yet. Yet. That word stuck out to me. I told him no. He said that the heartbeat looked slower than they would like to see. There was a tear and some bleeding under the sac. He didn’t want to give up hope – but …

It sucks. It hurts. I’m so sad. I’m not really angry anymore – I was the first time – for a LONG time. I was very angry at God. How could He. We’ve been nothing but good followers of Him – and this is what we get? We deserve better – we deserved a baby – we deserved to NOT lose a baby. It took me a long time to get over this. A long time.

When we got pregnant with Fitzy – I had given up hope. I had decided that Jared and I were gonna be fine with just the two of us – maybe I preferred it actually. Besides – we had Schrute and barden photography was booming – those would be my babies. Then out of nowhere – BAM. We get pregnant in the exact month I had told God that I could not get pregnant in. I was gonna go to Texas to shoot a wedding May 1st. Fitzy was born April 28th. Other than a little placenta previa – I had a perfect pregnancy. Morning sickness – sure. But that was pretty much it. And as far as deliveries go – it really was quick and kinda sorta as easy as it can kinda be? Other than the whole sleeping thing – he is a perfect and wonderful and happy and beautiful miracle in our lives. One that I never thought would be here.

Even as I sit here typing – I look at his perfect little face and can’t believe that he kinda belongs to us. That God loaned this miracle of a child to us. He trusted. Us.

So – again. I’m here with tears streaming down my face. Preparing myself to say goodbye to yet another baby that I won’t hold in this lifetime. I know what you’re saying – don’t give up so easily Danielle. I’m not. Really. But I’m a realist. I’m a “life is pain” kinda person. I get it. Life sucks sometimes. It is in no way fair. I prepare for the worst and then I am pretty happy in life when it’s NOT the worst.

Do I believe in miracles? Yes. ABSOLUTELY.

Do I feel that way that I felt with Fitzy this pregnancy. No. I had the migraines – but two or three of those were before I was even pregnant. I haven’t been sick. I’ve been exhausted – but I have a child who only needs the BARE minimum of sleep to get by and a ton of work to do. I’ve been really crampy – and not the crampy I was with Fitzy. I’ve been cautious. It’s the only way I know how to be.

Seeing that ultrasound yesterday eased my worries – but I would be lying if I told you I felt great afterwards. I was still cautious. I felt better – but not the best.

I’m sad. I’m just sad. Sad that we can’t enjoy pregnancy. Sad that we are always wondering and waiting – will it be like last time? Sad that I have friends I need to be happy for (call me selfish – that’s fine). Sad that all day long I think – wait – what was that? Am I bleeding now? Just sad.

I have no idea if any of this made sense. Blerg. I know that some of you out there might be reading this and thinking – hey Danielle – where’s your God now?

Oh – He’s here. And He loves me. And He loves Jared. And He loves Fitzy. And He loves this little baby struggling to hold on. Just because I’ve decided to love God and follow Him – doesn’t mean that life is easy – in my opinion it’s SO MUCH HARDER than choosing not to. I’ve written before that Jared and I have been through what most married people don’t go through in 16 years of marriage in just half that. It hasn’t been easy. But it would be MUCH harder without God.

So – thanks to all of you praying. Thanks to all of you holding us. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I met Amy through my friend Ronda! We had to reschedule our first session due to rain – but we got a perfect day the second time around!

Isn’t she BEAUTIFUL!

LOVE THOSE SHOTS!

Amy – I had a GREAT time with you guys! Can’t wait till our next session!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this little guy!

Oh – and the rest of the family!

OH MY HEART!

He didn’t like the grass on his toes!

AHHHH! TOO MUCH RIDICULOUS CUTENESS!

Fitzy LOVES *J* – and he’s pretty much his size!

We tire little *A* out!

Missy wanted a certain pose (which little *A* didn’t cooperate with) that I forgot to get at our session – so we had a morning play date a few days later!

STILL SO CUTE!

I LOVE THAT SHOT!

Fitzy LOVES *A* – but looks like he could tackle him! They are special boys for sure!

Missy & Cody – we LOVE you guys and are so happy we have babies to celebrate together! Thanks so much for asking me to capture this moment for you!

Melanie’s little guy is 6 months old already – and just about one of the cutest babies I’ve ever seen!

I JUST LOVE HIS FACE!

Melanie – you look GORGEOUS!

OH MY WORD!

Melanie – he is SO beautiful!