On March 11th I wrote one of two blogs about my journey on weight loss. In that blog I said the following –
Basically what I’ve done is not eat like a piggy pig – like I was doing. I’ll give you a typical day before and after Samm and I set the goals for me.
SERIOUSLY – mostly what I’ve done is just cut back on what I was eating. I’m aware of what I put in my mouth. I don’t deprive myself of things I would like – I just eat MUCH less of it!
I have to go back a little – you have to understand. I don’t pretend to know what it’s like to have an eating disorder – whether it’s not eating enough or eating too much. My weight gain over time is due to laziness – physically and in my eating choices. While I was a little too fluffy – I’ve never had to struggle with my weight. I don’t LOVE food. Cooking and eating are a chore for me. I would LOVE if I could eat a pill for my meals and get the nutrients I need. That would be fabulous. I can’t eat chocolate and as a woman I think that helps keep sweets under control – but I could be wrong.
Please – don’t think – well Danielle – aren’t you lucky then. No. I’m not. While I don’t struggle with food – I struggle with anxiety and OCD tendencies. We all have something. And I write this to encourage you. YOU CAN and WILL do it!
So was it easy? At first – not really. I wasn’t hungry but I did notice how many times I ate because I was bored or lazy. The hardest part was calorie counting – let me change that – being AWARE of calories. I would call Samm and say – DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CALORIES ARE IN THIS? IN THAT? OH MY WORD! I had honestly NEVER noticed. I realized just how BIG my portions were. I noticed results really quickly – which made it easier to stick with. But I noticed I just felt better. I’m really surprised at how easy this has become once I made my mind up to do it!
I’ve written two blogs. I’ve updated my status on FACEBOOK a handful of times. Now IG – I’ve posted about 30 photos related to weight loss. To encourage. To build up. To help.
But – I’ve been told that I’m doing the exact opposite. I’m hurting. By ALL my postings about weight loss. Some of my friends – or people that know me – have become standoffish due to ALL my postings about how easy it is. Because for some people it’s not that easy. Or even easy. And my choice of words were especially damaging and insensitive.
So I asked my sister. Cus you better know that she will tell me if I’m being full of myself. While this weight loss journey started because of HER journey – it’s still not all about her. And it’s still not all about me. It’s about all of us. Trying and getting there together. Helping and encouraging. Which is why I decided to blog about it. I’ve reached so many people that are trying to have a little baby – and have become good friends with lots of them. Why not blog about this? Samm – while it was almost a year after the fact – has been helping me to reach my weight loss goal. I wanted to share her story and what she’s done to inspire me. To inspire you. In writing her blog – 2 people that read it ordered Nutrisystem. She now texts on a regular basis with 3 of the readers of that blog and encourages them and helps them. Every. Single. Day.
So anyway – I asked her. Am I posting too much? Am I wrong in even blogging or posting anything about weight loss? Am I making it all about me? Because at the moment – she is the most sensitive person to it that I know. Now – you might say – well of course she’ll say no. She knows you and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. If that’s your answer – you don’t know my sister or our relationship. It’s about honesty. And she is sure to knock me down a peg or two if she thinks I need it.
But it didn’t really matter that she didn’t think I was posting about it too much. She didn’t think I was hurting. I was still told that the feedback from her wouldn’t be the same as the feedback from my readers and friends. That several – SEVERAL – people have said things about … this. That these people have lost weight too – but they aren’t posting about it. They aren’t bringing it up. So – I guess the question is – why would I?
First – to those people going to someone else to ask about why I would post about my weight loss. I say one thing. COME. ASK. ME. While I’m a dramatic person for sure – I despise drama. Why on earth would you go to someone else – friend or not – to ask them about why I am doing something? If you have a problem with what I’m doing or writing or saying – COME ASK ME. Because while this person told you to come ask me – none of you have. And I’m told there are several. So – it can’t be that concerning of a problem?
Second. I write. It’s what I do. It’s what I’ve done for years. And while that is no excuse to write every little thing that comes in my brain – which believe me – I would have NO friends if you all knew how I really felt about certain things – it’s still what I do. It’s how I heal. How I deal. When we miscarried the first – then second – then third time. I wrote. I sit down and write. Honestly. I write about my happiness and my hurts. My joys and my struggles. I love that you all read and cry and hurt and love and smile with me.
Third. I am NOT perfect. If I have EVER made you think that I was – I AM SO SORRY. Because I’m not. I need Jesus – we all do. And with Jesus – I still won’t be perfect. I write to show you that I’m not perfect – we’re not perfect. I get angry at God. I get really sad sometimes. I get crazy jealous. And I admit it. Because we are human. It will happen. I’m raw and blunt and I hope you see that covered in grace and sensitivity. I hope that in every single blog I write – you see Jesus shine through me.
Because that’s the ONLY reason I write. The only reason I can write. The only reason to write.
