I had been doing well – I wrote my letter to Enoch – knowing that we will see him in heaven.

Ten days went by and I hadn’t cried – I hadn’t really doubted our happiness or our lives – and then it started again.

One of our friends told us they were pregnant again – then another – and the anger returned.

Another couple we know is pregnant and now- five minutes ago – I found out about another.

I am so happy for our friends and pray for their pregnancies – but the anger just takes over.

I am so angry – not at the momma’s and daddy’s – not at God anymore – just ANGRY!

Please pray for me. Pray for us. I am so discouraged each month when I find out that we aren’t pregnant – another month of trying – gone.

I need hope – I am so afraid to hope – to even think that it might ever happen again – that we might have a pregnancy that doesn’t end in a loss.

I am watching all my friends hold my dreams in their hands … and I am losing hope …