I can’t believe I’ve been photographing this family for almost 3 years! AH! Time flies!

Seriously – SO CUTE!

LOVE THOSE SHOTS!

Julie – it was SO great to see you again!

I belong to a local MOPS group – two of them actually – and the Covington group held a fundraiser a few months ago!

There are three photographers in our group – so – what better idea than to hold some mini-sessions!

Mini-sessions through barden photography have been a GIANT flop – but paired with MOPS – they were a GIANT success!

Our craft queen built a lemonade stand – the cutest EVER!

SERIOUSLY!

This is my friend’s little guy – he was sick for mini-sessions – so we had a quick session in my driveway!

We were able to raise an AWESOME amount for our MOPS group!

HONESTLY!

Fitzy and *A* – they are good little buds!

OH MY WORD!

Ericka babysat while I went to a session and the lemonade stand was still here – so I took a few photos of her little *J* to say thanks!

If you are a momma of a little guy or girl – you should check out your local MOPS group!

Last time I photographed little *J* – he was NOT a happy guy. We got some good shots – but I would have loved a big smile.

He totally brought that giant smile for this session!

SERIOUSLY!

I can’t even handle the cuteness!

LIttle *J* – it’s been awesome capturing your first year of life! Can’t wait to see you in two weeks to celebrate your birthday!

*B* has been in front of my camera since she was in her momma’s belly!

I can’t believe it’s been a year already!

Those tulips were BEGGING to be in the picture! *B* still stole the show!

OH MY HEART!

Jessica – thank you SO much for asking me to capture this year in your family’s life! It’s been so much fun!

Little *G* happens to be cousins with *E* – and this is their – dare I say it – “favorite” aunt!

I might have to get a print of this – for my house. MELT MY HEART!

Hey handsome!

OH SWEET BOY!

Nicole and I chatted – like always – and little *G* got quite bored!

And – when you think of it – pray for this little family. Their daddy is overseas fighting for our freedoms. Momma is quite tired and these little boys have been sick lately. Pray for answers and for patience and rest!

I love photographing families while they grow! I met Lauren & Dan when *L* was still in her belly and now he’s 18 months old!

*L* – these are the best smiles you have EVER given me!

Lauren – thank so much for asking me to get a few shots in his Easter best! Can’t wait to see you this fall!

I can’t believe that little *G* is one month old already – I SHOULD believe it – it’s the way it always goes!

Hello sweet boy!

SO HANDSOME!

That might be the BEST smile that *E* has ever given me!

Nicole – I can’t wait to see you next month and see how much your little man has grown!

Seriously – LOOK AT THAT FACE!

I cannot believe that little *S* is SIX MONTHS OLD ALREADY!

TOO MUCH!

I could not have asked for a more PERFECT model!

OH MY HEART!

Taylor – thanks for having me capture your little guy’s first year of life! Oh – and for the extra snuggles!

See you for his YEAR session!

I took *J*’s newborn pictures in July – you know – when it was warm and lovely out!

Since his 6 months fell in the winter – we used the library at MU for his session – and it worked out GREAT!

Well – hello Mr. President!

SERIOUSLY!

Ashley – thanks so much for having me capture your little man! See you in April!

Four years. Four years ago today we lost our first baby – little Enoch. The darkest times of my life followed. I lost hope. I was angry with God. I questioned Him. I prayed. I cried. I asked. I hurt. He listened and healed. The process was slow – on my end.

He gave. He showered me with love and grace. He held me. Hurting and crying. Lost and desperate. I felt alone and forgotten. And He gave. It’s crazy.

I’m so thankful for that time. I’m thankful that I can be a shoulder for other women going through loss and struggling to have a baby. I wish I didn’t have a list. I wish I didn’t have 74 people listed – people who wanted. People who waited. People who are still wanting. And waiting. But the reality is – I do. They are there. And so I name them. I bold them and italicize them and write BABY after their names when their little ones come. I pray every day for them. And while I wish that they didn’t have to be on that list – I pray.

I wouldn’t change what happened. You’d think I would. But I wouldn’t even be aware of those 74 names is we hadn’t lost Enoch. I wouldn’t be aware of hurting hearts – praying for a baby to hold. To love. I’m blessed to pray for them. I’m blessed to be involved in their lives. I’m blessed to hold babies. Babies whose names have been always known to God. Prayers that have been whispered and cried and shouted and screamed and begged. Prayers that are now warm little babies. Beautiful babies. And because of this – I am blessed.

We wouldn’t have Fitzgerald if we had been given Enoch. We might have had another baby at the same exact time – but it wouldn’t be exactly Fitzgerald. And he is amazing. I cannot imagine my life without him in it. He has touched us in so many ways. And while I wouldn’t have known any different – I like to think I might have. I might know that he was out there. Meant to be ours but not with us. And I would miss him. Terribly.

On February 13th – it had been a year since our little Joy Christina left us for heaven. I didn’t write a blog. I remembered her and thanked God for the tiny time she was here. I was hurting then – a month ago. Badly – and while writing is therapeutic for me – I couldn’t sit down and talk about my goodbyes to her. It hurt too much. I wanted another baby so badly and to remember that she was taken too early – was too much to bear. So I didn’t. And I felt bad. Like she would be upset that I didn’t acknowledge her. But that’s silly. I know that she knows I love her.

And in a month – God has given me peace.

A week from today was our due date with our 4th baby – Lewis Samuel. And I sit here typing this – there are no tears streaming down my face. Not that crying would have been bad. But I’ve cried so much. I’ve missed so much. I’ve mourned so much.

And it’s time.

It’s time for joy. And for peace. And for rejoicing. And for that – I am glad.

Enoch – you are the baby that started it all. You were our first. And while I never saw you – not even on an ultrasound screen – I know your face. I love you dear boy.

Joy – you were a surprise. A joyous surprise. One that we never met. You would be 6 months old today. I imagine you with curls. And green eyes. I love you dear girl.

Lewis – I was convinced that you were a baby meant for my arms. We saw you on an ultrasound. Heard your tiny heartbeat. And still you left. In a week from today I would have been holding you in my arms – realizing that I’ve known your face my whole life. If we hadn’t lost Joy – we wouldn’t have you. And for that – I am thankful. I love you dear boy.

We miss you so much down here.

But I love that you are there.