MY 375 POUND LIFE. NO MORE. (my sister samantha)

Filed under: bardenisms,just because,my family,newsworthy,samantha,weight loss — admin at 12:24 pm on Tuesday, March 12, 2013

As promised – my sister Samantha. And your questions.

How did you make the decision to lose? When was the moment you knew you were ready?

i was standing in line at Taco Bell with my husband, thinking how nothing looked good and i was just making another bad food choice. i weighed 375 lbs. i felt uncomfortable, huge and mad at myself. it was weird how it just hit me. i wasn’t working at the time and i said to my husband “once i get a job and we get a little more money i really want to look into diet programs, i’m so tired of being fat.” and he said “well, if this is something you really want then we will make it a priority and do it now.”

i’m lucky to have a husband who has always loved me for me no matter how fat i was. he never made me feel bad about myself. he’s always supported me and done his best to make me happy and make things happen. he’s always made me feel beautiful.

so anyway, he researched and called companies without me knowing. i wasn’t doing it because i was partly not wanting to give up the food that i love and comforts me and partly because i was thinking i shouldn’t waste money on an expensive diet program. he told me a little while later “i ordered nutrisystem for you, it should be here soon.” i was surprised and a little scared. but mainly thankful. he knew how bad i wanted this and he got the ball rolling for sure.

a few days later (if i remember correctly) my brother called me and asked if i could come to Louisiana to help them out while their precious baby Judah was born. i of course said “OF COURSE!” i flew down and had to squeeze myself into the airplane seat and couldn’t buckle the seatbelt. it’s super embarrassing. it was warm down there and i didn’t bring shorts because my legs were huge and ugly and i hated them. it was all i could do to keep up with my little niece and to get up off the floor after playing with her. that sweet little girl gave me a lot of reinforcement that i really needed to lose weight. i want to be a mom someday and i don’t want to be a mom who doesn’t have enough energy to play with and keep up with her kids. i was there for a week and i thought, man this week kicked my butt. i can’t imagine doing this every day!

so then a big motivator became losing weight for my future babes and for my nieces and nephews so i can be the fun aunt who wears them out! when i would visit my mom and dad’s house and little fitzy would point that sausage finger out towards the chickens and cows (his way of asking to take him out to see them) i would think oh man! it’s a long walk out there and he’s a heavy little guy! but i can’t say no to that face. so i would carry him out there and my back would be KILLING me by the time we got to the chickens. i would think to myself, this is not ok! i’m not that old yet! i have a lot of weight dragging me down and hurting my back and knees. where does it end!?!?!? do i wanna gain another 100 lbs and be completely immoble!?!?!?

so it started in a Taco Bell line and just snowballed into too many reasons to not do it! i was squeezing into a size 28 and it was getting harder and harder to find clothes. (i’m wearing a size 16 now)

How did you stay motivated while losing?

in the beginning it was pure stubbornness. i paid for this program and i didn’t want to waste money. (i have to insert something here. i thought that nutrisystem (or any diet program) was expensive. it’s not. it’s actually less or the same that i spent on food in the grocery store, drive thrus, going out to eat, a candy bar at the store, you know. and i’m investing in my health and future and happiness. so i’ll sacrifice other places if need be, although i haven’t really had to.)

i needed a plan to teach me how to change my eating habits. i felt like i really couldn’t do it on my own. well, i might have been able to but it would have taken a lot longer. nutrisystem has taught me a lot and it’s worth every penny i spent.

the first week i was CRANKY and probably mean at times (my poor husband). i was saying “why does food have to be my problem!?!?!? why can’t i just be normal!?!?!? xavier would say to me “would you rather be addicted to drugs or alcohol or shopping or anything else? everyone has their own problems and issues, don’t feel bad this this is yours. you can do it.”
i hate when he’s right! he was a big part of keeping me motivated. then it changed into seeing the scale move down. then starting to really feel better. then my clothes starting to get bigger. and thinking this isn’t so bad! i can do this! and not to mention by back and knee pain went away pretty quickly!a random stranger stopped me on my jog one day and told me she was proud of me. she used to be overweight too. so we had a nice chat and she told me to keep going! most recently, i just got back from visiting my brother and flew again. i fit into the seat with room to spare and could buckle the seatbelt and even had to tighten it quite a bit! and i’m much more active and able to keep up with my niece and nephews.
another big motivator is that i take a picture every monday to track my progress. when i feel unmotivated or defeated i look at my beginning pictures. YIKES! that shocks me back into reality! i think it’s important to be excited about the little things on the way to your goal.

What has been your BIGGEST motivator on your weight loss journey?

being a healthy, happy, active momma someday. i want to be a fun mom like mine was/is.

Have you ever hit a plateau and stopped losing for a while with out reason? If so – what did you do to push past that?

i have been lucky enough to not hit a plateau yet. i think it’s because i still have so much weight to lose. some tips though are eat high protein power fuels like chicken breast, salmon, tuna and such and stay away from the dairy proteins for a little while. some people don’t lose weight very well with lots of dairy. i’m one of the ones that it doesn’t effect. also, switch lunch with dinner. try some new foods that you don’t normally eat. i’m not a calorie counter but if you hit a plateau then you should keep track and make sure you’re within range. also, eating too little is just as bad as eating too much. i don’t get how some people think skipping meals or snacks or dessert is going to help them. it’s not. if you don’t fuel your body properly then it will hold onto every little morsel it gets.

Have you always had to struggle with weight? If not – when did it start?

i have not always had to struggle with weight. i was skinny until i was about 17ish i think. i started getting chubby and just kept getting bigger and bigger. i never thought about it or obsessed about it when i was skinny. i remember getting stressed out and turning to food.a “friend” was at my house for some youth group event and we were going to take a walk and it was chilly so she wanted to borrow pants and a sweatshirt. i gave her the smallest ones i had and she said “WOW THESE ARE HUGE ON ME!!! I LOOK SO FAT!!!” i didn’t say anything and just walked away feeling HORRIBLE about myself. she wouldn’t stop saying how fat she looked and how huge my clothes were on her the whole time. i remember feeling like crap and thinking nonstop about food. seems backwards huh? for the most part when you criticize someone about their weight, or any addiction, it just feeds it (literally in my case). i remember eating A LOT that night when everyone left. i also had another “friend” who made me feel bad about myself on quite a few occasions and literally laughed at me right in front of me. i used food to comfort myself quite a bit. if i could go back in time i would stand up for myself and kick those “friends” to the curb.now, don’t think i blame anyone for me being fat. at any point i could have stood up for myself, but i didn’t. i’m just saying be very mindful of what you say and how you say it. i’m angry with myself for not losing this weight sooner.

How has your view on food changed?

my view on food has changed drastically. i see it as fuel now (for the most part). i still have some rough days here and there where i just want a Pizza Hut dinner box TO MYSELF. but those days are getting further and further away from each other. sometimes i have a nutrisystem pizza to satisfy my craving, and sometimes i just fight through it. i feel like i need to do that to prove to my self i will live without it and i don’t NEED it.

Has it been hard?

it started out very hard and has gotten significantly easier every day.

Do you miss the food you used to eat?

i do miss certain foods sometimes. but then i remind myself that it will not get me to my goal and it’s JUST FOOD! it doesn’t have to control you. honestly, i still eat really yummy stuff that is healthy too. i don’t miss how food made me feel and how out of control it made me.

How do you plan on keeping it off?

i will never go back to the weight i was or even close to it. i will keep it off by making smart choices for the rest of my life. it certainly doesn’t end when i get to my goal weight. nutrisystem has taught me a lot about food. i’m super thankful for it! i will use what i learned with nutrisystem forever.

How do you feel? 

i feel awesome! i feel better every day.

Has it changed you completely? 

it has changed me a lot. changed how i feel about food, myself and my life. it’s given me a lot of confidence.

I really want to encourage and help someone I love to lose weight. How can I help them?

no one likes the food police. it’s annoying and rude for the most part. telling someone you shouldn’t eat that or that’s disgusting or do you know how many calories is in that!?!?!? you can’t and shouldn’t force or guilt someone into losing weight. it won’t work. and if it does it won’t last. i give advice or my opinion when i’m asked. it’s great to want to help people but there’s a line between helping and unwelcome pushing. guilting, pushing, shaming and a know it all attitude never helps. with anything. not just losing weight. be supportive and encouraging.

Samm with Fitzy in December of 2011.

Fitzy’s birthday – April 2012. (almost a month after ordering Nutrisystem)

THEN & NOW (now being a few months ago)

THEN & NOW

THEN & NOW

What is your goal weight? What will you do to celebrate?

my goal as of now is 175 lbs because that’s the high end of my healthy BMI. i might keep going once i reach 175. i’m going to stop when i feel good and i’m happy with how i look. i plan on enjoying life happier, skinnier and healthier. i’m going shopping for new clothes. and taking a trip to wyoming (where my heart will always be). but the trip might be before i reach my goal though.

ONE LAST THING 

i don’t want it to sound that it’s all been easy. it hasn’t. i still struggle sometimes. but i made the choice that i’m going to do this and it’s worth it.

i know we all do, but try not to judge someone. everyone has their own issues and struggles. be nice. uplift each other. people rarely change their lives for the better by being judged and ridiculed.

and to the people reading this who want to change, whether it might be losing weight or any other issue, don’t listen to those who put you down. 99% of the time they are the ones who have issues with themselves and try to make themselves feel better by putting others down. don’t surround yourself with people like that. really think about if they are your real friends, or family in a lot of cases. you might have to move on without them. i’ve certainly done it and i think it’s the best thing in a lot of cases.

AND KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO IT. TIME IS GOING TO PASS ANYWAY. I CHOOSE TO LET THE TIME PASS WHILE LOSING POUNDS & INCHES. 

Samm – thank you SO MUCH for opening up and sharing your story with us. You are SUCH an inspiration to me and so many others! We’ve shared your spreadsheet with 140 people. ONE HUNDRED & FORTY. OH MY WORD! I am CRAZY RIDICULOUSLY INSANELY PROUD OF YOU!

Samm is happy to encourage and answer any questions you might have. I text her quite a bit asking if this food or that food would be okay. If I’m eating out – I can have 3 pieces of pizza right (oh crap – just one?) Did you know that shamrock shakes have 530 calories in them? HELP ME! She’s been awesome. She can be there for you too. If you want to contact her – you can friend her on FACEBOOK or email her at satrout(at)gmail.com!

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