HOPE

Filed under: baby barden,bardenisms — admin at 6:10 pm on Thursday, January 21, 2010

I am so thankful for my God – my husband – my family – my friends – my Schrutie – my job. Oh so thankful!

I am continuing the 2010 = HOPE prayer and will be for the whole year – I just might need some help!

If you know me – you know that I am NOT an optimist! It is something that is very hard for me to do – look on the up side of things.

I like to imagine lines in heaven when we are babies in the womb. There are lines for patience – worry – common sense – optimism – and so on. Sometimes I like to think that the worry and anxiety lines needed price checks and I got hung up there! I had every intention of getting some patience and trust and optimism – but the lines were close before I got there.

I am trying to be hopeful – without getting my hopes up – because the more I get my hopes up – the harder they fall.

I really thought with every fiber of my being that we would have a baby in our arms right now – if not that – we would be pregnant. We do not have a baby in our arms. We are not pregnant. I am impatient. I am confused. I am thinking way too much and it hurts.

In May I will be 29. I never imagined I would have an established business. I imagined I would have lots of babies.

Like I said – I LOVE BEING A PHOTOGRAPHER – oh how I love it – but oh how I would love being a mother.

I am thankful that I get to photograph women with miracles in their bellies.

I am thankful that I get to love all these little newborns and watch them grow.

It is very hard for me to think of the things that I am thankful for – but I have all of you to hold me accountable for that – and I am thankful!

I am VERY thankful for my blog readers and clients.

Thank you so much for opening your lives and your homes to me – it is so awesome to be able to watch your families grow.

Thank you for opening up my blog and reading about my hopes and fears and dreams.

1 Comment »

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Comment by MaryBeth Lynn

January 25, 2010 @ 7:03 pm

I admire your photographs and was checking them out (I’m a friend of Emily Rowe) and saw this blog. I just wanted to pass along some encouragement. I was single, wanting very much to be a wife and mommy, until I was 35. The waiting is very hard in the moment, but focus on where God has you, and on what His desires are for you, and trust, trust, trust Him for the desires only He can fulfill. I have regret from those years of freedom that I wasted so much time and energy on what I didn’t have, and wasn’t as useful to God and His kingdom as I might otherwise have been. Faith is believing in the unseen, right? You have this chance to grow in faith by letting go of the anxieties and REALLY trusting God, so go for it. 🙂
Blessings,
MaryBeth

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