We watched a video in church a few weeks ago – that made me cry! It showed the defining moments in your life – from birth to that last breath.
Here are some of my favorite moments – my hardest moments – my defining moments!
When my sister and I were little we lived in an upstairs apartment in Waverly with three kiddos that lived below us. I can remember running up and down our stairs with these boys and playing with them. When Derek was born we moved into the trailer court until I was 10. My Grandma Trout used to take us to church with her. We used to spend the night at her house but at 3 in the morning I would need to go home – so my Grandpa Trout would take me home. I remember sitting in the front seat of his little blue car and watching the napkins on the dashboard flutter in the wind from the windows. We played legos on the floor of the living room for hours. Samm and I would sit in the bathtub in our pajamas and read paragraphs to each other out of different books. We would put dance shows on for the neighborhood and my mom would record them for us. We usually wore our bathing suits with a skirt – and the dance moves were pretty cheesy! We would play dress up with the neighbor girls and her Grandma always had those pink mints set out. I had headaches almost every day until third grade – sleeping – throwing up – crying. My brother was playing swords with a neighbor boy once and got hit on the head. Samm came running in with blood all over her and poor Derek. My mom put him in the bathtub and we cried and cried. When I was sick or scared I would go to mom and dad’s room and climb in bed with them. My mom had a wooden club in the closet that looked like a monster head – so creepy! One night – either Samm or I thought or really saw someone in the hallway and screamed. My dad came running out of their room in his underwear ready to tackle the imaginary intruder. We climbed trees – played in the creek and leaves – rode our bikes around the park – watched cartoons – had a great childhood!
On Christmas day – 1990 – my Grandpa Trout died. I remember being in the living room and my mom answering the phone. I remember the look on her face – the change in her voice. Telling my dad the news and we all sat on the couch and cried. It didn’t snow that Christmas – and every Christmas since then hasn’t been the same. We moved into the farmhouse my dad grew up in once June of 1991 came around. My Grandma Trout lived downstairs and we lived upstairs – sharing a kitchen. We remodeled the entire upstairs. We got a Sega Genesis for Christmas one year – and played and played and played! We would play baseball in the front yard with our cousin Matt – superheroes in the backyard – spend hours in the shale pit!
Going into middle school – we all got baptized as a family! My parents had given their life to Jesus after my Grandpa died and my dad stopped drinking – creating a new chapter in our lives! I met my friend Sara and we hung out all the time – youth group functions – weekends at her house – movies. I remember sitting in her living room and watching the Waterfalls video from TLC over and over again. Letting my friends know about my new life in Jesus – inviting them to every church function we had! Going to the movies with my friends and getting kicked out of the theater cus they were so loud and wondering if my mom was going to be so mad at me! Running through our cow fields with my sister and the boys we liked! Switching churches from Bentley Creek to Athens – meeting our friend Jamie and spending every weekend with her!
Pottery and photography class in high school – sitting next to Lucas in drafting class for years – listening to country music on the bus rides to and from school. Learning (and hating) how to drive – painting our room bright blue and spilling it all over the car on my first drive without my mom or dad – leaving my English classroom because the substitute had us watch Jerry Springer on a daily basis. Spending the night with Adrianne and Rachel – swimming in Andi’s pool and finding her cat in the dryer (she was okay). Becoming editor of the yearbook – struggling with my OCD with copying notes and recopying notes and then copying them over one more time. Waking up one morning and not being able to swallow – dealing with eating applesauce and smooshed foods for months while my mind got over this issue. Being terrified of going to college and leaving my family!
Spending the summer before college with my sister – savoring every moment! My mom and dad dropping me off at Philadelphia University and crying as they left. Meeting Trudy – my RA – and making a connection with her – getting me through that first semester in college. Calling my parents and begging them to come get me – let me come home and quit. My dad being tough and telling me that I couldn’t quit – that I needed to stay and finish the semester – not understanding why he had to be so tough on me. I would cry the whole car ride home and the whole car ride back to college – every time! Transferring to Mansfield University – chopping all my hair off – staying in my room and studying – not associating with anyone. Listening to Trudy on the other end of the phone telling me that she had read Left Behind and needed Jesus in her life – could I help her with that! Rejoicing in her life with Jesus!
Working at the deli the first summer in college – meeting James and his family and hanging out with everyone till 3 in the morning almost every night. Derek, Samm, and I were so close that summer – leaving my parents to work on their rough moment at their 20 year mark. Drive-ins – mini-golf – movies – parks – swimming – driving – spending time enjoying my last year as a teenager! Fighting with my sister over boys – sometimes getting really heated. Going back to college and having a roommate that loved Jesus! Meeting everyone at CCC and FCA – meeting my life-long friends! Moving into the suite the next semester and meeting the girls and Josh – who became my best friend for the next 2 years. Spending the summer following Emerson Drive with my sister – driving all night sometimes – going to Ohio and staying in a hotel just to see them perform at a country fair. Spending time with the girls in the suite – going to the beach for the first time in Delaware! Late night talks and video games – witnessing and wondering – hoping and praying. The smell of Mansfield in the spring – skipping class to play football on the lawn – road trips to the Canyon.
Meeting Jared. Not knowing if he was someone I wanted – I needed – if I could let go of the boy I was already hung up on! Hanging out with Jared and falling in love with him – our first kiss – the first time he told me he loved me – traveling to State College to visit him during the summer. Coming back to school in the fall and realizing that my life was going so fast. Jared proposing – graduating college – getting married! Moving into our first apartment – learning to live with each other – to love each other! Getting a job at Phoenix – moving into the downstairs apartment – moving in with Jared’s parents when he lost his job. Meeting Johna and feeling like I met a long-lost sister! Moving into Jared’s grandparent’s house and making it our own.
Struggling with pain in my head that I though was a brain tumor – wanting to die instead of spending another moment in such intense pain. Becoming closer to Jared and closer to God through the struggles – the pain – the diagnosis of TMJ disorder and what would happen from here – praying for healing – for a miracle – for the chance to become a mother someday without worrying about being in pain every minute. Finding Dr. Robinson through a miracle connection and being fitted with a retainer that offered nearly 100% relief – remembering what life felt like without pain every moment.
Talking with Jared about getting a puppy and starting a family! We both found Schrute on a website and called each other and said I FOUND HIM – we knew he was ours! Driving to Pittsburgh in a snowstorm to pick him up and finding out 2 weeks later that we were pregnant! Making the decision to quit Phoenix and make barden photography a full-time dream come true! Getting so excited about our first appointment to see our miracle and seeing nothing – the devastation – the heartache – the confusion and anger. Wondering what went wrong – waiting to miscarry and say goodbye – starting to try again – and try and try and try with no answers. Blogging both my professional and personal life – meeting mommas and daddas that also struggle with loss and the want of a child. Being blessed and being a blessing to those people who I now consider dear friends.
Having a great first two years with barden photography – loving my clients and all the special people that God put in our lives through photography. Being there for other women dealing with loss and infertility. Being very angry with God – yelling at him and not trusting His plan – crying every day and having my heart scream at the sight of a baby or pregnancy. Knowing that Jared wanted to help and there was nothing anyone could say or do – being so sad it hurt.
Praying for answers and peace and comfort and finally reaching that point – finding out a day later that we were pregnant again! Wondering and praying and worrying and hoping this baby was meant to be in our arms and not with his brother. Knowing that being a momma was my dream and first love and putting barden photography in second place. Struggling with the decision and excited with our little one’s arrival! Finding out that we were going to have a bay boy – sharing the news with everyone we love! Loving my husband more today – almost 7 years married – than I ever thought I could. Waiting for our baby boy to be in our arms – two months from now!
What are your defining moments – your memorable moments – your favorite moments?
