I can’t believe that I’ve been taking photos of Lucas since before he was even here!

I love my . babies . babies . babies . clients – but the year just FLIES by!

He reminds me SO much of Fitzy!

FOUR GENERATIONS!

SUCH A CUTIE!

It’s been an AWESOME year with your guys! I can’t wait to see you again in November!

Dear Fitzy –

Exactly two years ago – we took a test. A test that tested our faith. A test that showed us the true meaning of a miracle – even though we didn’t know the extent of that miracle at the time. A test that answered our prayers. A test that changed our lives. Forever.

Today is your aunt Samantha’s birthday – as fate would have it. You are so blessed with so many people that love you. We are so blessed with YOU.

You make me smile every day. Your laugh is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. You are so good at letting us know what you want. You are sleeping better (which I hate to announce for fear of jinxing myself – and since I wrote this a week ago – I have) and you love to eat!

You are starting to run and love to climb on EVERYTHING!

OH MY HEART!

We love you so much!

I’ve known Karen for a long time – they used to live down the road from my parents!

Her mom got her a family session for Christmas and we couldn’t have asked for a better day!

The last time I saw these kids they were tiny!

Karen – thank you so much for opening your home to me! It was so nice to see you guys!

I posted earlier about my friend Jen – from college. It’s so exciting to reconnect with old friends!

We got together a while ago – after their session – and I had to snap just a few more of her sweet family!

SWEETEST!

I LOVE that last shot of you guys!

I can’t wait for the next time we get together!

Hannah is such a sweet girl! I loved getting to know her at our session!

She is very interested in gardening and landscaping! Thankfully – my in-laws are too!

I LOVE THOSE SHOTS!

That last shot is one of my favorites!

Hannah – thank you so much for asking me to take your senior photos! Good luck in college!

I met Rachel when little *S* was still inside her tummy! She is one of my favorite kiddos to photograph – she has SO much expression in her little face!

I love love LOVE those shots – and I couldn’t decide on color or black and white – so you get both!

OH MY HEART!

If I didn’t already have a wall covered in canvas – I would be getting that image on the right – in a 20 x 30! I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!

Rachel – thank you so much for welcoming me into your lives over the past two years – I look forward to our next session!

This might be my favorite senior session. Ever.

The best part is – I boosted the color a little – lightened them up a little – and BAM!

PERFECTION!

LOVE LOVE LOVE!

BOOST – LIGHTEN – that is all natural! Such a GREAT location!

Zoe – thank you SO much for asking me to take your senior photos! I had a GREAT time!

I met Heather either on FACEBOOK or at one the of ARNOT MALL BRIDAL EXPOS – I’m not sure now!

They’ve been married 3 years and are expecting a sweet baby boy!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE those shots!

Heather & Melvin – I had a GREAT time with you guys! I cannot wait to see that handsome little miracle of yours!

“Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” – Westly to Buttercup in The Princess Bride – one of my favorite lines ever.

My biggest obstacle in all this is accepting – plain and simple – that life’s not fair. It’s really hard to get over – especially this time.

People ask all the time – oh you only have one child – you HAVE to have more – you know that right? When are you gonna have more?

What I would like to say is this – if it were only that easy. I would love to just decide to get pregnant this month and BAM! – it happens. But it doesn’t work that way – at least not for us. Maybe for you – maybe for people you know. But not us.

What I’ve been saying is this – well – we’ve had three miscarriages – two since Fitzy was born – so I have no idea. It’s uncomfortable. It’s weird. But I don’t know what else to say without being very sarcastic and mean.

Jealousy is the big thing right now. I am so angry and jealous at anyone who has more than one baby – even some that have “just” one. I just don’t understand why it’s so hard for some and so “easy” for others – i say “easy” because I’ve been accused of not knowing the situation and jumping to conclusions that it was “easy” for someone. In my parents case – my dad pretty much just had to look at my mom and she got pregnant. No scary pregnancies. No longing for a child. No wondering if it would all be okay. So for some people – I know it’s easy. And that makes me so jealous. Why us?

Right now – I prefer to just stay at home and not be out. Not have to answer the hard questions – not on my part – I don’t care. But people get uncomfortable. Thankfully I have friends that make sure I see them and stop by – unannounced even.

Last week I wanted to just have surgery. Make it so that we can’t get pregnant anymore – so we don’t experience this heartache anymore. There is still part of me that thinks we should. But it’s an emotional response and one I just ultimately can’t do. In a year we will look at our lives and see where we are. Pray that God would maybe sorta kinda reveal a little bit of His plan for our lives and what we should be doing – what He has for us.

But life is pain. It’s gonna happen and it’s gonna happen over and over – maybe not the same pain – but pain nonetheless.

So I enjoy my beautifully painful life. Sometimes it’s hard – but I will. I enjoy this baby that God has blessed us with and the time we have with just him.

Thank you so much for praying – for texting – for messaging – for loving.

Please remember to pray for those I know – you know – the people you don’t know – that desire to be parents. Pray that God would calm their hearts and answer their prayers – with a YES – because while I sometimes think prayer is useless – sometimes I don’t.

I love love LOVE senior sessions – I don’t have many scheduled for this year and that makes me a little sad!

Cheyenne won my free senior session at the career day drawing a few years ago!

I LOVE THOSE SHOTS!

Cheyenne – thanks again for having me! I had a GREAT time! Good luck this year and with your future adventures!