{"id":86739,"date":"2020-03-21T01:55:51","date_gmt":"2020-03-21T01:55:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/?p=86739"},"modified":"2020-03-21T13:47:10","modified_gmt":"2020-03-21T13:47:10","slug":"holiness-happiness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/2020\/holiness-happiness\/","title":{"rendered":"HOLINESS > HAPPINESS"},"content":{"rendered":"

Two years ago on March 14th I wrote this –\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

2018.<\/strong><\/p>\n

God doesn\u2019t care about your happiness. He DOES care about your holiness!<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s the thing \u2013 we\u2019re human right? And in our humanity \u2013 happiness can mean SO MANY THINGS. SO MANY THINGS that aren\u2019t of God. Or from God. Or for God.<\/p>\n

BUT it can also mean SO MANY THINGS that ARE of God! From God. For God.<\/p>\n

So why are we convinced that God wants us to be happy. That we deserve to be happy.<\/p>\n

I would argue that God isn\u2019t about our comfort and our happiness (the way WE define happiness) \u2013 but cares more about our lives mirroring Jesus.<\/p>\n

Recently \u2013 our pastor said something that really put it perfectly.<\/p>\n

THERE IS NOTHING GOOD FOR YOU OUTSIDE OF GOD. NOTHING.<\/strong><\/p>\n

NOT ONE THING.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So \u2013 since I posted my \u2013 WHY ARE WE SURPRISED blog \u2013 I\u2019m gonna go off what I wrote in that blog.<\/p>\n

The men that abused their power and took advantage of all the ages of both boys and girls \u2013 they did it for their own \u201chappiness\u201d. They were selfish. They wanted what they wanted when they wanted it. And they used their position of power to get it.<\/p>\n

And what they did was outside of God. WAY OUTSIDE. Certainly not holiness but for their own \u201chappiness\u201d \u2013 and that\u2019s what happens when words mean different things to different people.<\/p>\n

Happiness \u2013 the state of being happy. Happy \u2013 feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. Fortunate and convenient.<\/p>\n

We have an epidemic going around lately –<\/p>\n

I\u2019m taking time to work on me. Making sure that I\u2019m happy. That I get what I deserve. Because I deserve to be happy. Me. Me. Me.<\/p>\n

No actually \u2013 you don\u2019t. You deserve hell. I deserve hell. BUT JESUS. There is nothing in the Bible that talks about our deserving happiness.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And listen \u2013 I\u2019m not saying that taking time to work on yourself isn\u2019t needed. It is. I can\u2019t write these blogs while the boys are here. Fitzy is at school and Enoch is next-door. And in that time \u2013 I\u2019m taking time to do the things that fill me up. Write. Work on my business. Work on myself. That\u2019s not what I\u2019m talking about.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m talking about \u2013 you hurt me and I don\u2019t have to stay married to you. Again \u2013 in this case \u2013 I\u2019m not talking about abuse. I\u2019m talking about what people do to other people \u2013 because we are imperfect people. Expecting Jared to never disappoint me \u2013 is RIDICULOUS. Expecting to never have to forgive him \u2013 ABSURD. Expecting that hard things won\u2019t come and work will be needed \u2013 you get the point. Nearly 5 years ago \u2013 when Jared was manic and crazy and making no sense and admitting to awful things \u2013 I wanted to run away. And many many people told me to run away. Leave him. He hurt you and you don\u2019t have to take that. WHAT ABOUT YOU. TAKE CARE OF YOU. And I\u2019ve written about this before \u2013 but photographing weddings while my husband was in the hospital \u2013 saved my marriage. I had to stand there and listen to what men and women said to each other \u2013 and I had to remember what I promised. And once the mania and the crazy wore off \u2013 he was sorry. He was repentant. He asked for forgiveness. He took\/takes medication. He went to and still goes to counseling. He asked for help. And I could have just walked away \u2013 because I was NOT very happy. And honestly \u2013 I couldn\u2019t really see happiness down the road. But \u2013 we do the hard things. And no one ever told me that I was a princess who deserved to be rescued by a prince and swept off my feet and live in a castle and have a happily ever after forever.<\/strong> The grass is always going to be greener on the other side. But really \u2013 it\u2019s just greener where you water it.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m actually reading the Bible this year \u2013 and I recently finished Job.<\/p>\n

Can we talk about happiness here?<\/p>\n

Job was so very happy. He had a wife. He had animals. He had children. He had wealth. He had friends. HE HAD IT ALL. He was the greatest man in all the East. His kids threw parties \u2013 and Job would get up early and make sacrifices to God on their behalf \u2013 in case they sinned. And then one day \u2013 the angels and satan came to God. God said to satan \u2013 where have you been? And satan said \u2013 oh. I\u2019ve just been roaming the Earth \u2013 going back and forth. And God says \u2013 have you considered my servant Job? There is none like him. He is blameless and upright. He fears God and shuns evil.<\/strong> And satan says \u2013 yeah. but aren\u2019t you blessing him? Aren\u2019t you protecting him? If you take everything he has \u2013 he is sure to curse you. So God says \u2013 okay. everything he has is in your power \u2013 but on the man himself \u2013 you may not touch him. His children all died in an unfortunate wind storm that collapsed the house they were partying in. All his animals and his servants \u2013 raided or killed by fire from the heavens. Job was grieved. BUT HE DID NOT SIN BY CHARGING GOD WITH WRONGDOING. But satan didn\u2019t stop there. He came back and said \u2013 if his life was at stake \u2013 certainly he would curse you. So God says \u2013 do what you will but you must not take his life. So Job is stricken with sores \u2013 across his entire body. His wife and his friends will him to curse God and die. There\u2019s a lot of back-and-forth between his friends and their suggestions. But Job doesn\u2019t. God and Job have words together. Job says \u2013 I know that You can do all things. No purpose of yours can be thwarted. Job speaks the truth about God \u2013 and prays for his friends that didn\u2019t. And God listens to Job \u2013 because He was quite angry with his friends. And after Job prayed for his friends \u2013 God restored his fortune to twice as much as before. God blessed the latter part of Job\u2019s life more than the former. He had 7 sons and 3 daughters. He saw his children\u2019s children to the fourth generation. And Job was so very happy.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m pretty sure there was not much happiness after all his children died and all his animals were killed or stolen. There was not much happiness when he was covered in sores and full of pain and despair. But \u2013 Job did not go and find happiness. He didn\u2019t seek the happiness that he thought he deserved. He stood on the word of God. There was not much happiness involved during that time. But holiness \u2013 there was lots of holiness.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s why I don\u2019t think that God cares about our happiness \u2013 our comfort. I know that He cares about our holiness. Jesus asked God to change his mind. He asked Him to take the cup from Him. Jesus wasn\u2019t happy about dying. He certainly wasn\u2019t comfortable being betrayed and beaten and placed on a cross to die a slow and painful death.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t deserve anything good and great in this life. Working hard sometimes doesn\u2019t \u201cpay off\u201d.<\/p>\n

God never said \u2013 follow Me and you\u2019ll have everything your heart desires. <\/strong><\/p>\n

He did say \u2013 follow Me \u2013 I am ALL you will ever need.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In Luke \u2013 Jesus says –<\/p>\n

BLESSED are you who are poor \u2013 for yours is the kingdom of God.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

BLESSED are you who hunger now \u2013 for you will be satisfied.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

BLESSED are you who weep now \u2013 for you will laugh.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

BLESSED are you when people hate you. When they exclude you and insult you. When they reject your name as evil because of the Son of Man.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

REJOICE IN THAT DAY AND LEAP FOR JOY \u2013 because GREAT is your reward in heaven!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

That doesn\u2019t say blessed are those who are rich. Who have full bellies. Who have no reason to cry. Who are loved by the masses. Who are accepted.<\/p>\n

We tend to equate happiness with blessing \u2013 but this passage shows us that our idea of blessed is different than Gods idea!<\/p>\n

And this \u2013 in James –<\/p>\n

Consider it PURE JOY whenever you face trials of many kinds. Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let perseverance finish it\u2019s work so that you may be mature and complete \u2013 lacking nothing!\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Do you? Do you consider it PURE JOY when you face trials? I know that I don\u2019t. And I\u2019m pretty sure you don\u2019t either.<\/p>\n

When things are beautiful \u2013 when circumstances seem to be going your way \u2013 when you can breathe a little easier \u2013 do you ask God why? Why do I deserve this greatness? What have I done to be blessed so much by You?<\/p>\n

When things are hard and ugly \u2013 when the universe seems to have it out for you \u2013 when you can barely catch your breath \u2013 you KNOW you ask God why. What have I done to deserve this? I\u2019m trying to do the right thing. I\u2019m trying to be a \u201cgood\u201d person. Why God? Why?<\/p>\n

But go back up to that verse from James \u2013 consider it PURE JOY when life throws you trials. Because your faith produces perseverance \u2013 stick-to-it-tiveness \u2013 drive \u2013 guts \u2013 tenacity \u2013 spunk \u2013 stamina \u2013 grit. The trials of life MAKE YOU STRONGER. Trials are not happy times. The verse does not say \u2013 consider it PURE JOY whenever you are exactly where you want to be. Consider it pure joy when life is easy. Consider it pure joy when your faith isn\u2019t tested \u2013 when your faith can sit on a shelf in a pretty box.<\/p>\n

No.<\/p>\n

CONSIDER IT PURE JOY WHEN YOU FACE TRIALS. WHEN YOU ARE TESTED. BECAUSE TESTING STRENGTHENS YOUR FAITH. STRENGTHENS YOUR DEPENDANCE ON GOD.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

When we were almost married \u2013 Jared\u2019s dad was diagnosed with Leukemia. Not long after we were married \u2013 Jared lost his job. We moved out of our apartment and in with his parents. Then into this house \u2013 a house that I didn\u2019t want to come to. A house that I would still prefer to not live in \u2013 a fact that I allowed to steal my happiness. My jaw joint was falling apart \u2013 I wanted to start a family \u2013 but I could barely survive day-to-day. For two years \u2013 we tried to figure out how to manage my pain and anxiety. And once that was figured out \u2013 we got pregnant right away! And lost that baby soon after. Overall \u2013 there wasn\u2019t a whole lot of happiness. But \u2013 I had a successful photography business and a place to write and share my heart. My pain and my joys. And because of that pain and that loss \u2013 I met some of the most important people in my life. And then we had a baby. And motherhood was beautiful and exhausting. And then we lost two more babies. And our marriage struggled. And lies and secrets swept in. And my husband was admitted to the psych ward. And we had another baby. And motherhood was beautiful and even more exhausting. And we had skunks living under our house \u2013 and I let that steal my happiness. AGAIN. And I let so many circumstantial things in life steal my happiness. AGAIN AND AGAIN. I still don\u2019t want to live in this house. I don\u2019t know how long it will be until we can put siding on the back of our house. I\u2019m pretty sure our kitchen will be carpeted for years to come. I don\u2019t know when we will have a full night\u2019s sleep. I don\u2019t know SO MANY THINGS. But I do know this \u2013 God is faithful. And happiness is relative. And being comfortable is a dangerous place to live.<\/p>\n

CONSIDER IT PURE JOY WHEN YOU FACE TRIALS. WHEN YOU ARE TESTED. BECAUSE TESTING STRENGTHENS YOUR FAITH. STRENGTHENS YOUR DEPENDANCE ON GOD.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

__________<\/p>\n

2019.<\/p>\n

Mid-March last year was CRAZY. For us. Our house was getting ready to be torn apart and the price-tag on that project had me CRAZY. I was absolutely convinced that we would struggle. HARD. And we did. I did. But financially – we were okay. And I don’t mean that we were abundantly blessed with extra money that came from the heavens. But I do mean that we were okay. We paid our renovation bill. We paid our utilities. We bought food. And I paid extra on our loan to the bank for this house. The house that I was SURE would drain us. The house that I was sure would be our end.<\/p>\n

And we made it. And there were so many days that I was sure we wouldn’t make it. I showed up at Sierra’s one day in my pajamas in a haze. Positive we would never do anything fun again. That we would be stuck. Forever.<\/p>\n

And while we are stuck in this house forever and it’s not where I want to spend the rest of my life – I don’t FEEL stuck like I did last year and ALL the previous years.<\/p>\n

Remember –<\/p>\n

God never said \u2013 follow Me and you\u2019ll have everything your heart desires.<\/strong><\/p>\n

He did say \u2013 follow Me \u2013 I am ALL you will ever need.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We didn’t have everything our heart desired. But we did have everything we needed. And a little extra.<\/p>\n

__________<\/p>\n

2020.<\/p>\n

We don’t have everything our heart desires. But we do have everything we need.<\/p>\n

When I think about it for too long. I start to panic. I start to convince myself that it’s all a nightmare. It’s the latest science fiction book my dad insisted I read.<\/p>\n

And I have my own conspiracy theories about it – that I won’t get into here. But. It’s SCARY! Anne Frank scary. 1984 scary.<\/p>\n

I told a friend that it’s all happened SO quick – then I realized that it really hasn’t happened quickly. It’s been years of scary.<\/p>\n

Just not THIS degree of scary that we all see & feel & experience.<\/p>\n

AND STILL.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

God never said \u2013 follow Me and you\u2019ll have everything your heart desires.<\/strong><\/p>\n

He did say \u2013 follow Me \u2013 I am ALL you will ever need.<\/strong><\/p>\n

God never said – follow me and you’ll be happy – on this earth.<\/p>\n

We’ve been stuck in this house (a different kind of stuck that I am used to dealing with) for 5 days. ONLY 5 days.<\/p>\n

A week ago – I spent the day with Missy. I had told her that I was happy about being at the point in our lives that I truly enjoy most of the time I spend with my kids. We had gone away for a girl’s weekend two weeks ago and I missed them. I wanted to get home and spend time with them.<\/p>\n

And then. Three days later. I was home and spending every moment with them.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I’m controlling and I’m trying not to be. I’m noticing when I am and asking for help and forgiveness. I’m a recovering perfectionist. It ruled my life for a long time.<\/p>\n

This fort brought SO MUCH happiness to their hearts. And mine.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

We made the craziest lego guys we could and face-timed with Sammy so she could judge.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

We dyed eggs.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

We painted a picture of watermelon.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Enoch drew me a purple dinosaur in front of a smiling mountain with a scary cave.<\/p>\n

We’ve watched movies. Have you seen INBESTIGATORS or ARCHIBALD on Netflix? You should check them out if you haven’t.<\/p>\n

We’ve built puzzles. We’ve gone outside. The boys play soccer in the living room with pillows. We’ve read books. We’ve done school work. We’ve listened to worship music.<\/p>\n

We’ve played games. We’ve yelled. We’ve cried. We’ve laughed. We’ve apologized.<\/p>\n

If you’ve been following my life at all you know that Enoch and I – it’s hard. He feels all the feelings and he feels them BIG.<\/p>\n

Enoch has come up to me SEVERAL times this week and said – mom. I’m frustrated. I’m angry. I’m scared. I’m grumpy. AND I NEED HELP. (this is HUGE)<\/p>\n

And I tell him that I’m scared. I’m angry. I’m frustrated. Thank you for using your words to show your feelings.<\/p>\n

As someone who thinks she’s in control of all the things (but really knows I’m not) this is really HARD. If I can control all the factors in my immediate circle of my family – I can protect them.<\/p>\n

I’ve thought this for a long time. I used to stay up and wait for my dad to come home from work. Because if I was awake – nothing bad would happen.<\/p>\n

When I went to college in Philly – I would call my mom every morning – because if I didn’t – something bad would happen. And I already wasn’t there to make sure it wouldn’t.<\/p>\n

THIS IS ALL SO HARD. And I mean EVERYTHING.<\/p>\n

The fear. The facts – if you can believe anything. The quarantine. The questions. The staying home. The saying goodbye. The staying away. The trusting. And I do mean trusting the people in charge.<\/p>\n

But I also mean trusting God. (it’s okay to say that you know – that it’s hard to trust Him)<\/p>\n

And don’t forget that people are bringing babies into the world. People have been wondering where their next meal will come from. People have been saying goodbye to their dear ones. People are just living their everyday stressful lives and THEN this.<\/p>\n

When will we go back to school? I can’t wait for Kindergarten graduation! Can we go visit G & PA? When will we see Sammy again? Why isn’t there any of my bread in the stores?<\/p>\n

It’s really hard – right!?<\/p>\n

IT IS SO HARD.<\/p>\n

Consider it PURE JOY whenever you face trials of many kinds. Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let perseverance finish it\u2019s work so that you may be mature and complete \u2013 lacking nothing!\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

CONSIDER IT PURE JOY WHEN YOU FACE TRIALS. <\/strong><\/p>\n

WHEN YOU ARE TESTED. <\/strong><\/p>\n

BECAUSE TESTING STRENGTHENS YOUR FAITH. <\/strong><\/p>\n

STRENGTHENS YOUR DEPENDANCE ON GOD.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I’m not there. I’m not at the considering it PURE joy.<\/p>\n

We’ve been listening to WAY MAKER on repeat. And I really didn’t like it until THIS WEEK. I found myself singing it and crying. And really believing the words deep in my heart.<\/p>\n

I can GUARANTEE that tomorrow will bring more of the scary. More of the hard. More of the hurt.<\/p>\n

I can also guarantee you this. Tomorrow will bring more of the love. More of the laughter. More of the healing.<\/p>\n

And ONE more guarantee. The end WILL come. For ALL of us. Jesus WILL come back. And He already knows your heart.<\/p>\n

Is he living in there? Because it’s the ONLY thing I know that won’t change about tomorrow. I will wake up and He (not me) will still be in control. He knows the end of this. OF ALL OF THIS.<\/p>\n

He wins.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Two years ago on March 14th I wrote this –\u00a0 2018. God doesn\u2019t care about your happiness. He DOES care about your holiness! So here\u2019s the thing \u2013 we\u2019re human right? And in our humanity \u2013 happiness can mean SO MANY THINGS. SO MANY THINGS that aren\u2019t of God. Or from God. Or for God. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[24,58],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86739"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=86739"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86739\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":86755,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86739\/revisions\/86755"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=86739"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=86739"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=86739"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}