The lights go out all around me<\/p>\n
One last candle to keep out the night<\/p>\n
Still the darkness surrounds me<\/p>\n
I know I’m alive but I feel like I’ve died<\/p>\n
And all that’s left is to accept that it’s over<\/p>\n
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made<\/p>\n
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder<\/p>\n
I fee like I’m slipping away<\/p>\n
After all this has passed I still will remain<\/strong><\/p>\n After I’ve cried my last there’ll be beauty from pain<\/strong><\/p>\n Though it won’t be today – someday I’ll hope again<\/strong><\/p>\n And there’ll be beauty from pain<\/strong><\/p>\n You will bring beauty from my pain<\/strong><\/p>\n My whole world is the pain inside me<\/p>\n The best I can do is just get through the day<\/p>\n When life before was only a memory<\/p>\n I wonder why God lets me walk through this place<\/p>\n And though I can’t understand why this happened<\/p>\n I know that I will when I look back someday<\/p>\n And see how You’ve brought beauty from ashes<\/p>\n And made me as gold purified through these flames<\/p>\n After all this has passed I still will remain<\/strong><\/p>\n After I’ve cried my last there’ll be beauty from pain<\/strong><\/p>\n Though it won’t be today – someday I’ll hope again<\/strong><\/p>\n And there’ll be beauty from pain<\/strong><\/p>\n You will bring beauty from my pain<\/strong><\/p>\n Here I am at the end of me<\/p>\n Trying to hold to what I can’t see<\/p>\n I forgot how I to hope<\/p>\n This night’s been so long<\/p>\n I cling to Your promise<\/p>\n There will be a dawn<\/p>\n After all this has passed I still will remain<\/strong><\/p>\n After I’ve cried my last there’ll be beauty from pain<\/strong><\/p>\n Though it won’t be today – someday I’ll hope again<\/strong><\/p>\n And there’ll be beauty from pain<\/strong><\/p>\n You will bring beauty from my pain<\/strong><\/p>\n Superchick sings this song – I don’t know if they wrote it – but I love it. When I was going through my jaw pain and ordeal – it helped me through it – the lyrics fit into my life perfectly.<\/p>\n Right now – what we are experiencing – I can’t think of a better song to describe how I feel.<\/p>\n I got the call from the doctor today – letting my know that my levels were indeed down by the thousands and that I would be having a miscarriage on it’s own or we will have to schedule surgery. Right now – I am waiting it out and waiting to hear back from the doctor’s office to make an appt. for next week.<\/p>\n I am tired and sore and emotionally drained – writing COMFORT was such therapy for me – I needed to get out how I was feeling and why – there are still thoughts that run through my head – but I know the truth. I know the answers.<\/p>\n I have always told Jared that I am ready for Jesus to come back ANYTIME – I just want to have a child first – selfish – I know. My friend Sara told me last night – you ARE a mother – and it hit me – that I am. I am a mother – and I have a child – he is resting in the arms of our Father and waiting to see us.<\/p>\n I hope that BEAUTY FROM PAIN touches your heart with whatever struggle you are going through and know that God is listening. There are times when I am mad at God – I yell and I cry and I fight – I want to know why – and I keep hearing what my own parents would tell me – we know best – we are doing this because we love you – that didn’t stop me from throwing a little baby fit – but I know that I can express to God my anger and He is trying to get through – saying – but I know best – I love you – you will be okay. The relationship we have with God is REAL – it is full of real emotion.<\/p>\n Again – I appreciate all the prayers and the love and the hugs and the tears – more than you know.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The lights go out all around me One last candle to keep out the night Still the darkness surrounds me I know I’m alive but I feel like I’ve died And all that’s left is to accept that it’s over My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made I try to keep […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[8],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3697"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3697"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3697\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3697"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3697"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3697"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}