Sometimes I’m a jerk. Sometimes I talk about people and get mad about things that never really happened – I just like to think they did. Sometimes I get jealous – really really jealous. Sometimes I state my opinion when in fact it would have been better in the long (and short) run if I had kept it to myself. Sometimes I’m selfish.<\/p>\n
I want to be the hands & feet of Jesus – to go where He sends me. But I don’t want to be a jerk doing it.<\/p>\n
Since starting barden photography – I’ve had the opportunity to mentor a few aspiring photographers – and it always seemed to burn me in the end. I’ve lost clients because bringing on an assistant didn’t work. I’ve lost clients to the people that were starting a business. I’ve been very VERY upset about this. I’ve felt cheated and hurt and in some ways betrayed. It’s been about MY feelings. I forget that I once was an aspiring photographer whose friends supported me. I started out at lower prices and clients came to me instead of “better – more established” photographers. I didn’t think of any of this then – because I wasn’t getting hurt. I’ve apologized and asked for forgiveness. I’m sure I’ve missed people. So – if I’ve been short when you asked for advice, if I’ve written a status on facebook that hurt you (which is a WHOLE other blog in itself) – if I haven’t encouraged you and supported you – I apologize.<\/p>\n
When I decided to become a “photographer” and start my own business – I didn’t even think about having babies in the picture. Photography was my identity. Everything depended on the amount of clients and what clients stayed “loyal” to me. I’m having a VERY hard time with facebook lately. There are LOTS of photographers popping up all over – and I see my beautiful clients in their photos – and I think “why aren’t they in mine?” It shouldn’t matter – it doesn’t matter – in the long run. Why? Because it’s not why I’m here. It’s been an added bonus – but it’s not why I live and breathe. I live and breathe to share the love of Jesus. To be His hands and feet. To be a daughter – a sister – a niece – a friend – a wife – a mother. It’s awesome that God has given me this gift and vision to capture people. I’m thankful for that – and for all of you that I’ve met.<\/p>\n
I’m not booking as quickly as I used to – and sometimes I freak out about that. I know that I am not the best – I know that I’m not the cheapest – I know that I am not that friend you are supporting with their new business. It still hurts. It still sucks. BUT – I am a momma now. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE spending time with this little boy. He is growing faster than I could have ever imagined and I feel like I am missing out – even though I am home with him. I have friends I’ve been praying for that are having babies. I have 20+ more friends that I am praying for to be blessed with babies. And I know that God is nudging me to focus on being a momma and a wife and a child of God – and a sister and a niece and a daughter and a friend.<\/p>\n
And His hands and feet.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
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Sometimes I’m a jerk. Sometimes I talk about people and get mad about things that never really happened – I just like to think they did. Sometimes I get jealous – really really jealous. Sometimes I state my opinion when in fact it would have been better in the long (and short) run if I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[8,24,33,58],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18268"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18268"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18268\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18268"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18268"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bardenphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18268"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}