LOOK AT THAT FACE! He is such a happy lovey baby!

That’s his newest favorite face!

He is such a little ham!

Oh Fitzy – I just adore your little face! You can hardly tell that you are so sick and stuffy.

Thankfully we got an antibiotic for his ear infection. He lost two pounds over the weekend since he stopped eating baby food but ate his breakfast like the normal piggy baby he is this morning!

He still gets up twice in the night but hasn’t been having his 4 AM parties – so that’s a plus!

In “new” baby news – I started bleeding a little yesterday and my doctor was awesome and got me right in for an ultrasound and blood work.

Yesterday marked 8 weeks according to my schedule. I’ve seen an 8 week ultrasound – I have a friend who is due right around the time we are and she was spotting and asked me to pray. She sent me the photos of her baby at 8 weeks. At 8 weeks on an ultrasound you can see a heart beating.

We didn’t get a photo yesterday. The tech measured my ovaries and then the gestational sac and the yolk sac. She told me that the blood work would have to confirm. I knew then. Even though I kind of knew something was wrong. With our first baby – I didn’t feel sick. I was exhausted but never sick. With Fitzy I was sick every morning. I haven’t been sick this time. I’ve been overly exhausted but not sick.

Our doctor called and told us the results – which I knew were not good. He said that he can’t tell for SURE but with blood work comparisons on Friday he will know for certain – but more than likely we will miscarry this baby. It looks like a blighted ovum – a type of miscarriage in which the baby either never develops or stops growing at a very early stage in pregnancy and then disintegrates – but a gestational sac does develop and the body does not recognize that the baby is missing. Googled that for you.

Now – it COULD be wrong – but I highly doubt it. Not because I don’t believe that God is still God and still performs miracles. But because I just haven’t felt right – haven’t felt pregnant. I haven’t really attached myself to this baby – it’s hard because once you’ve had a miscarriage you have this fear in the back of your mind that it will happen again. I had it with Fitzy but as soon as I was getting sick I felt better – I wanted to throw up EVERY MORNING if it meant that baby was still there.

Blighted ovum or not – I believe that life starts at the MOMENT of conception – so I believe that Enoch and our little baby (which I like to think would have been a girl – Joy (short for Joyce after my two grandmothers) Christina are in heaven. I believe that we will see them again. They have never felt pain or anger or fear or loss. They have only known the hugs of Jesus and His love and awesomeness.

So – it’s a waiting game to find out the comparative blood tests. Last time it took about a week after our ultrasound to miscarry.

More blogs will be coming once we find out the results and what not. I also plan on being back on facebook Sunday (I HAVE to make it to two weeks) BUT things will be completely different. I will not put up with crap. I will not put up with your insecurities that you blame on me. I will not participate in 13 year old gossip and attitudes.

I truly believe that God has used our miscarriage(s) to help those around us. Please keep praying for the now over 30 women and men on my list that want to hold sweet ones in their arms. You ask what you can do to help. Pray. Pray for me that anger and bitterness and jealousy and judgement don’t take over. I love to capture bellies and babies – but I get very angry when I should have had and don’t. I get bitter. I tend to pass judgement on who really deserves a baby or not. It’s not fair – but life’s not fair. PERIOD. So please pray that for me – cus I get angry about even the closest friends and family members that are pregnant or SEEM to not struggle with their pregnancies. And don’t tell me that at least we lost this “baby” while it wasn’t really a “baby” yet. I can promise you a kick in the neck.

To those of you who TRULY care and love us – thank you! I appreciate you more than you know! To those of you that don’t – I’m praying you can forgive me for whatever wrong I’ve done against you – if you are reading this and you think it’s about you – it most likely is.

He is tiny and sweet – such a little miracle!

OH MY HEART!

I can’t even remember Fitzy being that tiny! They are just so perfect!

Melanie – he is BEAUTIFUL! I am so happy for you!

38 weeks is the last picture I have since we had Fitzy before our week 39 picture could happen!

Here is a comparison at 38 weeks in and 38 weeks out!

He is such a happy – lovey – joyous – smart baby!

He can crawl – pull himself up to standing – wave – scowl – and loves to give hugs!

I cannot believe that as I sit here and type this – we have another little one on the way! Absolutely crazy!

I cannot wait to have a belly and to feel Fitzy’s little brother or sister move around! I LOVE LOVE LOVE being pregnant!

Some – if not all of you – may have noticed that we aren’t friends on FACEBOOK anymore. I deactivated my account – Jared and I both! We plan on a two week hiatus (if not longer)! It’s been a day and Jared and I have talked more – spent more time together – gone to sleep earlier – it’s AMAZING! I know that my barden photography page is also gone – which totally sucks – but it was we needed to do.

I will be updating my blog a little more with some personal stuff – and client photos as usual!

Don’t forget about the . babies . babies . babies . special!

. babies . babies . babies .

There are so many babies on the way!

I am feeling slightly anxious because I don’t have any of the symptoms I did with Fitzy when we were pregnant. With our first pregnancy I didn’t have any symptoms – and we lost that baby – it just makes me a little nervous! BUT – I am trusting that God is in control and has our little baby in His hands!

To celebrate all the babies on the way – and the babies that we are praying for that WILL be on the way – I want to offer a . babies . special!

For that first year of life I offer – maternity – newborn – 3 months – 6 months – 9 months – 12 months all for $1000 (which is a $200 savings) and comes out to $166 a session!

For those of you that don’t want to do belly shots – I offer - newborn – 3 months – 6 months – 9 months – 12 months all for $800 (which is a $200 savings) and comes out to $160 a session!

I also offer – maternity – newborn – 6 months – 12 months all for $700 (which is a savings of $100) and comes out to $175 a session!

Again – for those of you that don’t want to do belly shots – I offer – newborn – 6 months – 12 months all for $500 (which is a $100 savings) and comes out to $166 a session!

I know that some of you are JUST finding out about your pregnancies and want to wait a little longer to commit!

I will run a special until the end of March! If you put down your deposit – which is the amount of a session in your particular package – you will get a FREE 16 x 20 canvas print at the end of the first year! Your deposit must be in my hand by 3.31.2012!

I know that some of you are due right around when we are – I am taking off the month of July (but would open maternity spots if needed) and the months of September through February most likely (with some exceptions) but if you are willing to come to Mansfield for your newborn sessions – I can totally fit you in and make it work! For those of you in Mansfield I would just come to you!

If you are a former barden photography bride – you get an extra bonus!

When you choose the $1000 package – at the end of the first year you will receive a 30 page – 12 x 12 album of your sessions AND a 16 x 20 canvas print! You can choose one print or a collection of prints to display on your canvas!

When you choose the $800 package – at the end of the first year you will receive a 30 page – 12 x 12 album of your sessions OR a 16 x 20 canvas print! You can choose one print or a collection of prints to display on your canvas!

If you want to set up your sessions – jot me an email @ dcbarden(at)gmail.com!

Last year I was sick for my New Year’s Eve wedding and called her as a back-up if I needed one. Thankfully I pushed through the wedding and she was able to spend her New Year’s with her hubby! I was so thankful that she was on call for me though!

We have since become good friends – which I truly appreciate – with her being a local photographer! She is an encouragement to me in my work and my life! She is sweet and kind and loves Jesus!

When she came to take some newborn pictures of Fitzy – I remember her cradling him and saying how she and Seth ached for a baby and were waiting as patiently as they could. Little did she know that she was JUST pregnant when she was kissing that sweet boy of mine!

Little *J* should be here next month – he is one of the 5 certain miracles we had been praying for!

She had a vision for their maternity pictures – to make a prayer book for *J*! Such a great idea!

They prayed for this health – for him to always have a home – to never be hungry – to love books – to play make believe – to know Jesus’ love!

The book she made is BEAUTIFUL!

Praying that he will ALWAYS know their love!

HOW GORGEOUS IS SHE!

It was CRAZY windy and FRIGID the day we decided to shoot – but they were troopers!

They pray that *J* will love learning!

They pray that he will always enjoy laughter!

It’s funny that my favorite shots are usually the last ones!

Megan & Seth – I am so thankful that our paths crossed! I cannot WAIT to see little *J* and watch you experience him!

I have always been regular with my cycle – within about two days – and since I am crazy organized and scheduled I always keep track.

I was a few days late and again – was on the way to my parents for the weekend and needed to know what to pack. I drove to dollar general – picked up a test – took it and within 30 seconds there was a positive result – CRAZY!

Jared laughed – only to keep from crying!

I texted my sister a picture – called Ronda (if you are friends with me on facebook – you ALL know Ronda) who was VERY excited! Called my mom – who I woke up and she yelled at me – I’M TIRED DANIELLE! And then in the morning she thought it was a dream until she checked her phone! Called my bff Johna who was equally excited – called my brother – whose first response was – WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME SO LATE! Jared called his mom – who was also in bed and a little drowsy. We always say – we won’t tell many people – then we tell OODLES! I just can’t help it! My sister called me back saying – IT’S A GIRL – IT’S A GIRL – IT’S A GIRL – IT’S A GIRL – IT’S A GIRL – IT’S A GIRL – IT’S A GIRL – IT’S A GIRL – IT’S A GIRL – IT’S A GIRL – IT’S A GIRL – AND HER NAME IS SAMANTHA – IT’S A GIRL – IT’S A GIRL – IT’S A GIRL!!!

You guys have been with us since losing Enoch and struggling to get pregnant and watching Fitzy be born – I can’t NOT share it with you. If something were to go wrong I would blog about it anyway – so why not get all the prayers we can! And it’s just such a joyful (and SCARY) time! We have to share!

I had to email my September and October brides first before announcing – and everyone that has responded so far has been so kind and understanding! I HATE HATE HATE to cancel on people – and the reality is – I could probably suck it up and do a few of the weddings a week or two out from my due date – BUT – I was early with Fitzy – can you imagine me calling you on the eve of your wedding and telling you I am in labor – good luck finding a photog? So I like to cover my bases and provide my clients with the BEST they can get for their day! And after having Fitzy and doing too much too early (I know – I know – you can say I told you so) I’ve decided to really cut back and focus on my Jesus and my babies and my hubby and my family – I really mean it this time.

I am still planning on taking the month of July off and now the end of August and all of September thru January! Which means that sessions are pretty much booked for the year. If you have an appointment in those months – don’t worry – I will be emailing you soon to figure out the details (most of which will just be keeping the session since so little are scheduled) – and for 2013 I will be limiting my schedule to 1 to 2 weddings a month – depending – and maybe 4 to 5 sessions a month – again depending.

I love love love love LOVE photography and I love love love love LOVE capturing moments for you! But the bottom line is – I love love love love LOVE my family more.

I am so humbled right now. Jesus loves me. I have an amazing husband – a beautiful precious baby boy – a fantastic family – and another sweet little life growing. People have been asking lately if we were gonna have more – I told them that I want more children – but I also want to be happy with just having Fitzy if that is what God plans. I truly did not imagine having more – having the trouble we did with getting pregnant!

Our first appointment – which is just a confirmation is on Friday and then we will go from there! I will keep you all updated! My sister is calling for a girl to be born on September 3rd (her birthday – since a girl will be named Samantha) so we will see if she gets her little fat girl this time around!

That being said – PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for the people that I know – and that you know – that are reading this and hurting. the people who want to be parents so badly that it seems to consume every moment of every day. I’ve been there – and so have some of you – and you know exactly how painful it is. I have more than 25 names on my list right now – please please pray for them.

I do. I’m not gonna lie – there was a time that I didn’t know if I did or not. Maybe for other people but not for me.

Missy and I talked many times about that very thing. I met Missy through my blog and FACEBOOK. We were both struggling with miscarriages and infertility. We both had (Missy & Cody still have) great danes. We clicked. We cried together. We had doggy dates. We prayed for each other.

Missy & Cody were at a point after several miscarriages and surgeries where their only options were in vitro or adoption. Their first in vitro experience was miraculous. They are now expecting a sweet baby boy next month!

I LOVE those shots!

BEAUTIFUL!

Missy & Cody – I am SO thankful that God crossed our paths and we traveled this road together! I cannot wait to meet *A* and watch our babies grow up together! We love you!

I have been praying and praying for Melanie and her husband to be blessed with a sweet one – and now our boys will grow up together!

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE those shots!!!

Melanie has been wanting that last shot for maternity photos FOREVER! We call it the “dave & jenna” since I first took it with them!

Melanie – I am so thankful that our paths have crossed and am SO HAPPY for you!

Kelly called me about pictures of her little guy and I knew right away I had to squeeze her in!

I love when clients trust my vision!

I really firmly believe that God is using me to tell baby stories. I know the heartache and struggle of losing a baby – trying to get pregnant – being told there isn’t a very big chance you might ever be – and then when you least expect it – you are! I am so thankful for this gift God has blessed me with!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE that last picture! My new favorite!!

ISN’T SHE GORGEOUS!!

Lauren – I cannot WAIT to meet your little guy or girl! I am so excited to be your photographer for the first year of their life!